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Original poster

Coincidence?

35 replies

whentherockmettheocean · 03/08/2021 11:53

For several years I had suspected that DH fancied another woman that he knows. I never paid much attention to it as I am of the opinion that everyone fancies people now and again despite being married.

More recently though there have been events which I am questioning if they are coincidences or not, when taken together. Looking for opinions what others would think.

The first coincidence was that she was at the same holiday resort as us. I never mentioned it as thought it was coincidence and he never mentioned it so assumed he hadn't seen her.

The second coincidence is that he told me that the woman had moved to within a virtual stone's throw of our house. Again I never gave it any further thought for probably about a year to 18 months.

However, something happened later on which caused me to question him about his relationship with her. Within days immediately following this conversation I had with him, she had moved out of the house.

All just coincidence?

OP posts:
OldEvilOwl · 03/08/2021 12:48

The holiday one is especially weird! Were there opportunities for him to meet up with her during the holiday?

Booboo24 · 03/08/2021 13:52

I'd say it looks a bit stalkery to me if anything. Could something have gone on in the past maybe? OR it could be total coincidence, depends if you're looking for it or not I guess. How popular or near to you is the holiday destination? Is it a go to place for where you live?

Original poster
whentherockmettheocean · 03/08/2021 14:29

@OldEvilOwl

The holiday one is especially weird! Were there opportunities for him to meet up with her during the holiday?
Yes there were opportunities but I am sure I would have noticed a change in him if that had happened.
OP posts:
Original poster
whentherockmettheocean · 03/08/2021 14:31

@Booboo24

I'd say it looks a bit stalkery to me if anything. Could something have gone on in the past maybe? OR it could be total coincidence, depends if you're looking for it or not I guess. How popular or near to you is the holiday destination? Is it a go to place for where you live?
It seems stalkery to me too.

The holiday destination is abroad.

OP posts:
MsDogLady · 03/08/2021 14:37

OP, can you share what happened ‘later on’ that caused you to question him about their relationship?

minatrina · 03/08/2021 14:42

This is a strange one... I would probably also feel suspicious but as PP said, it would be helpful to know the issue you had that made you question their relationship. I'm guessing perhaps you didn't specify as it is outing/personal?

The holiday thing is what strikes me as most odd. How did your DH react when you both discovered she was at the same resort as you? And how does your DH know this woman in the first place?

PerpetuallyBaffled · 03/08/2021 14:55

I've occasionally seen people I know at the same holiday destination so that in itself is coincidence. Your husband made no comment so it is likely he didn't see her.

The fact that he told you she had moved nearby suggests that this is again just a coincidence. It could of course be a coincidence that these two things happen. Nothing unusual in that.

I think the step too far which takes it possibly beyond coincidence is her moving out at the same time you have spoken to him about her. Of course, she may have had a rental agreement for a year and that is the reason why she moved but it is still a strange coincidence.

Why did you ask him about his relationship with her? Did he discuss this conversation with her? Why do you think she would move away from you both following this conversation?

Palavah · 03/08/2021 14:56

When you say she moved out of the house do you mean she left her partner?

layladomino · 03/08/2021 14:59

The fact that she moved out of the house after 'something happened' - what was the 'something'?

Lovelybottom · 03/08/2021 15:01

Op the holiday thing sounds familiar. Did you post before that you were looking at photos and when you zoomed in you could see her on the other bus?

Noshowwithoutpunch · 03/08/2021 15:04

Of all of the holiday resorts in the world she's at the same one as you?Shock
He pretends he hasn't noticedHmm

PegasusReturns · 03/08/2021 15:05

It could be something or nothing. There are three options broadly:

  1. They’re in a relationship and he was complicit in the plans

  2. She’s stalking him

  3. It’s a complete coincidence

Which of those is most likely depends on what was the something that happened later which triggered your suspicions

armanted · 03/08/2021 15:13

Was she on holiday with some other women OP? This sounds familiar.

girl71 · 03/08/2021 15:23

Yes, i remember a similar thread from this time last year.

Gazelda · 03/08/2021 15:30

How does he know her?
How do you know that she moved out?

PerpetuallyBaffled · 03/08/2021 15:49

@Noshowwithoutpunch

Of all of the holiday resorts in the world she's at the same one as you?Shock He pretends he hasn't noticedHmm
This isn't as unusual as people think. I must have been on 35 plus holidays in my adult life and it's definitely happened a handful of times. Either someone I know or someone my holiday companion has known. Thinking about the number of people that visit popular holiday destinations, it's not that unlikely, and it has also happened at airport terminals which I would have thought would have been even more unlikely.
4togonow · 03/08/2021 15:50

Yes I remember you posting before. Has something else happened or are you still going over it all?

dryasaboner · 03/08/2021 19:11

Deirdre Chambers....what a coincidence....

MsDogLady · 03/08/2021 22:24

OP, can you please elaborate so posters can better advise you?

Onthedunes · 03/08/2021 23:08

I think the 'something happened ' is the fact op confronted her husband about the holiday and her moving so close.

What you are asking is has he forewarned her and she has upped sticks and moved out, as you are onto them.

It's possible op.
Anything's possible.

Jesskir89 · 03/08/2021 23:15

Is this where you noticed her on a photo when you got home?

HollowTalk · 03/08/2021 23:16

I'd be all over this one, OP.

PersonaNonGarter · 03/08/2021 23:20

Yeah —unless you’re all from Glasgow and the destination was Blackpool during the Trade holidays— this seems too much of a coincidence

Dancedancedancedancedance · 03/08/2021 23:24

Weird

girl71 · 03/08/2021 23:45

@dryasaboner you can't stop progress.