Best friend stormed out when boyfriend arrived (PRT 2)

[LouLou3002]

Hey all, sorry that it has been some time, so like an idiot I locked myself out of my other account and have had to create a new one to update.

For those of you who can't remember or that are new here, I had a family do some weeks ago, in which my best friend of 30 years attended but stormed out abruptly when my partner arrived, sort of making a scene.

Up until now, so it's been almost 6 weeks approximately, I've heard nothing at all from my 'friend'. For anyone wondering why I've let it go on so long, I've sort of been going through the motions, I've been careless - ready to cut my losses, angry - at the situation and how she acted and hasn't bothered to reach out, sad - that after 30 odd years of friendship, she didn't even bother to send a text to explain what happened, and then from the top again.

However, I bit the bullet and sent a text yesterday:
"Hey, I don't know why it has felt so awkward to text since the party, but it has. I am still very confused and unsure of what happened that night but I wanted to reach out to make sure you were okay and so you know I'm here to talk, I'm sorry, love you, always x"

(i don't know why I apologized, I guess I felt like a shit friend for not reaching out sooner, but I had my reasons!)

Some hours went by before I received a response, which has just thrown me off again because she seems so angry?
but do let me know what you think.

"Tbh I feel like this message is weeks too late. I’m over the situation and not even sure what you’re apologizing for? I can’t really be bothered to even get into it. But since you mentioned respect, you’ve got more for a guy that you've known 5 minutes but I hope that situation is working out for you. I have nothing more to say on it, so let’s just leave it at that"

As I said, I was thrown by the response in all honesty. I have NEVER disrespected her, ever, so I'm failing to see her point and I feel as though it's just an attempt to be spiteful and petty?

I did respond and just said the below but didn't receive a response.

"I didn’t message straight away because I was and have been angry and hurt too.
I didn't want you to go, as I told you not to. To say i don't respect you or have more for * is really unfair, it's not a competition. I do respect you, more than you realize clearly. As I said I’ve always got you, I don’t know why you assume any different."

For me, I feel angry again, I don't understand how in this situation she has embodied this victim's personality. I think it's unfair, a part of me thinks that 30 years of friendship is worth fighting for (although she hasn't responded) the other part is telling me to leave it now and to let it go.

Please do let me know your thoughts on this? so many people were incredibly helpful the last time I posted. I guess I just need some clarity.

Thanks,
Lou

@layladomino I see what you mean, I think where I had time to think about it, I wanted to believe she is a nice person and that maybe there was a justified reason for what happened that I didn't know about. However you are right, I was proven wrong, and this thread is right which is a sad thing.
Thank you, yeah going forward that's going to be my attitude. I'm over it! xx

@thepeopleversuswork I realize that now honestly. I think when I sent the text I wanted to give it one more shot to see if maybe we had blurred lines somewhere but it appears not.
I think I need to accept that although you have a history with a person, it can still come to an end.
I won't reach out again as I agree, it is like flogging a dead horse.
Thank you

Hey Lou, good to see you back again! Sorry this is still going on. What a headache

I think Thymeout summed up the whole situation perfect.
I would also use Lovelybottom reply - I couldn't leave it the way it has been left. With no explanation from friend. I'd need closure but would still leave the friendship

I think this last shot you attempted was the medicine you needed to finish this friendship.

Thank god she DID reply in the manner she did, rather than back down in her text. She’d probably continue with the weird (and rude) behaviour that she seems to think is acceptable around your BF, and you’d be back to square 1.

Thank her for showing you who she really is and look forward to happy and relaxing life without toxic people who call themselves your ‘friend’.

@messybun101 Hey! aww, thank you, and thank you for coming back for the update! I agree, I feel as though there are things that are left unsaid so I need to figure out what I'm going to do? IF I'm going to, Do I just leave it a bit longer and send that text or just send?

@Blackbird2020 Thank you! that is a really nice way of looking at it and I didn't think of it that way before. It is sad but your right, at least i won't be around the toxicity anymore x

Yep, liking lovelybottoms reply

I think it would be best to send the final message (if you do decide to send something) sooner rather than later. Waiting will change nothing. You’ve already come to a decision about this ‘friendship’ and this last message is you essentially closing the door, politely but firmly.

You've given the olive branch and it was thrown back in your face
I'd leave her be,she's made her choice.
And if you ever find yourself wavering,read that message back.

Agree that you should use @Lovelybottom 's reply. Sums up the situation perfectly.