NC for this one
DH and I downloaded an app called Paired. Basically it asks you a question and when you've both answered it, it shares your answers with each other. Mostly fun but it also helps you identify where you're not on the same page.
Yesterday it had a quiz about the division of household labour. I answered honestly, in that I feel I do more than my fair share around here and that he doesn't do his, that I don't feel I get any appreciation for what I do and I don't feel that I have enough support in this regard. He knows this anyway, it's the only bone of contention between us that he clocks off when he gets home and I just keep on and on working, picking up after everyone. Weekends are for relaxing- for everyone except me! Every so often, he and the DC will realise I'm seriously drowning under all the extra stuff they heap on me and they'll pull their weight for approximately four days at most. I'm not martyring myself, but I don't want to spend all my waking hours nagging at others. It seems like smashing my head against a brick wall. Pointless drama that only hurts me.
Anyway. As soon as he opened the app, he dramatically went "oh, I bet you've been dying for this one to come up" and refused to answer anything! So I told him how I answered, because I don't think it's fair for him to shut it down when I have things to say. I wouldn't do it to him. He suddenly snapped, right in the middle of a sentence I was saying, "ALRIGHT, sorry I don't want to be anyone's fucking house servant!!"
As if I want to be!! 
I said to him that doing his fair share isn't servitude, it's basic adulting and basic respect for me as his wife and he said that he never wanted a life where he came home from work and had to pick up after anyone else. I asked him why he thinks it's ok for me to have to do it and he launched into me having a totally different upbringing to him. I did not get what his point was at all. I asked him to explain that and he said if I don't know what he's on about there's no point getting into it.
He grew up in a middle class household where they had a cleaner come three times a week and his mum tidied his room until he moved out! I grew up in a working class household where we all had to pull our weight or God help us. So I said "if you're hoping I'm going to be your mum you are dead wrong." And he told me I was miles off base and looking to make him feel inadequate. Brought up how well he looks after me if I'm ill. I agreed that he does but said that I think that's largely because he knows it's temporary and he won't be needed to step up for long. I pointed out how long he gets to convalesce if unwell, which is almost three times as long as me, because he doesn't panic about his ever increasing workload.
He said I'm determined to cast him as a villain and he probably could do "a bit more to help out." I replied that it's not helping out because this isn't MY role, it's both of our responsibility and he needs to stop shirking. He called me impossible and went back to bed! He's still there now. I'm furious! What to do about this? In all other ways, he's lovely. But he is so damn lazy around the house that I absolutely despair. He never does a single thing unless he's nagged into it.