He’s moving on with the speed of light!

[Malena77]

We broke up two months ago after a 5 year relationship. Never properly lived together as both had school age children. This summer they are off to university so it was always the plan to move in together now that we waited so long! I was so excited! But then all of a sudden he started fading away, showing anxiety, could never get around selling his house - but claimed he was still much in love! A lot of confusing drama on his side, many disrespectful choices. He broke up with me saying he realised that he needs to ‘cut his path and understand who he is’ ‚not my fault’ ,can we stay friends’ ‘I wish you find the partnership you deserve’ - I called the list ‘it’s all bs but I’m such a nice guy’.
Guess what - 2 months later he’s parading his new relationship on social media with a big grin on his face.
How do they move so fast? The sheets in my bed are still warm 😂. It’s bewildering. Rebound or no rebound - do they have a conveyor belt and just move the ‘I love you’ sticker to the next supply coming up?
I’m upset, angry but mostly embarrassed for him (he’s 58 !) and frustrated with myself for wasting my time and believing in his bs.
Help me move on.

The answer is that unfortunately, he'd already moved on when he was still with you. He just didn't end it.

Many men get someone else to go to before moving on. They carry on the facade of a relationship so they don't have to be single.

I've just watched my husband's friend do this to his wife of 20 years. He faded away from her whilst telling her that of course he loved her.

Then he split with her with no warning and moved out immediately. Within 2 weeks he'd "Met his Princess!" He really said those words about a 38 year old divorcee.

Probably already had her lined up. ‘They don’t leave for an empty bed’ as my old mum would say.

Yeah; it's not a rebound. He was rebounding on her mattress for a few months before you and he ended, I'll be bound.

He was already seeing her, its not really a mystery sadly. As soon as he started going cold is probably when he met her.

If it helps, men can't be in their own. They need someone to look after them, cook and clean, give them pep talks and tell them how great they are (caveat, obviously not ALL men!). I think it's pretty pathetic that he couldn't even be on his own 5 minutes. If I was the OW I would also be wondering how sincere he was as he's walked straight into this relationship after 5 years with you (or cheated - also not great!). Just count yourself lucky you've escaped and move on with your life.

Yeah I'd put money on it that she was already on the scene before you split up
His reasons and excuses are ones I've heard so many times from people who later turned out to be cheating