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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Lonelieness

4 replies

Lostsheep123 · 01/08/2021 23:42

It has only been 2 days since we've broken up and I miss him so much. We've been together close to 4 years. I can't help but feel totally heartbroken even though the relationship wasn't working. He was incredibly lazy around the house and messaged other girls so it is the right thing that it's over. He is still about for our children (1 DD 5yo that I had from a previous relationship but he took her on as his own and DS who is 3 weeks old). We still live together and he wants to pretend to be together for the children.
I live 150 miles away from family and all of the people I was close with, I've also lost touch with most of them. So I got no one to turn to.
We are still seeing allot of each other and it's making it so much worse. I've had a slip up while trying to do the co-parenting thing and begged him to try and fix our relationship. He said he doesn't want anything to do with me and that he doesn't love me anymore, he's just there for the kids. It has messed me up so much more.
This whole situation is making it hard for me to enjoy spending time with my newborn. Could really do with some advice on how to get through this.

OP posts:
Addicted2LoveIsland · 02/08/2021 03:53

Can you go for a visit with your parents or family? It may be good to get away so you can have some distance with things and bind with the baby.

I'm sure your hormones are also raging. Not to miniseries what you're going through.

Don't beg for him back. You deserve better.

faithfulbird20 · 02/08/2021 05:08

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please be kind to yourself and try to see your family even if you've touch.

Stay away from him he sounds like he enjoys seeing you in pain. It must be so hard with a newborn. I would try to get in touch with family.

In the meantime, share responsibilities for both kids. Sleep when babies sleeping, take turns to look after. It doesn't mean you want to get back with him. It just might make life easier whilst u get back on ur feet.

lilmishap · 02/08/2021 05:21

he wants to pretend to be together for the children

You want to actually be together but without the messaging other girls and him being a lazy arse.
You both want shit why is he getting what he wants (you pretending you're his girlfriend while he is also free to do as he pleases) but you're not getting a boyfriend who doesn't treat you like shit??

He knows he fucked the relationship up but expects you to pretend that he didn't and give him all the same attention you did as his girlfriend because you're now pretending to be together??

Can you hear how one sided and batshit that sounds?

You can dump me but I expect you to carry on acting as if you haven't dumped me for the kids sake. I expect all the benefits without any of the responsibility.

Fuck off with his bollocks

It's tough titties.

lilmishap · 02/08/2021 05:23

Get angry.

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