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Original poster

Men and their profile pics

20 replies

Ilovegreentomatoes · 01/08/2021 18:02

Yet again went on another date with a man that looks nothing like his profile pic.
Obviously he posted one about 5 years ago as he clearly looked a lot different in real life.
Also a lot shorter than what he stated but I know men always lie about their height.
I know women always get blamed for using filters but I find so many men are putting old pics up now even on their WhatsApp.
Of course you can do video calls before you meet but I find them awkward when you don't know someone.
Is it just me that always finds this plus the lying about height I mean when you meet them you are going to find out the truth so what's the point? It just wastes everyones time. I always post recent pics which I hope look like me but I'm sick of meeting men who look absolutely nothing like their profile pic (and not in a good way).

OP posts:
oprahwindfuryy · 01/08/2021 18:03

Feel your pain, time wasters!

girlmom21 · 01/08/2021 18:05

Before you meet them, do you ask them if they actually look like their profile picture?

You'd have to be pretty brazen to lie to someone about that if they asked you outright and you were planning to meet them...

Fireflygal · 01/08/2021 18:15

A video call might feel awkward but you'll save a lot of time, effort and disappointment. I don't think a video call is any more awkward than having a call or actually meeting someone.

Original poster
Ilovegreentomatoes · 01/08/2021 18:17

@girlmom21 yes I will be asking next time.

OP posts:
ItStartedWithAKiss241 · 01/08/2021 18:19

I think you should start getting comfortable with video calling. Start by video calling friends and family first.
I really, really dislike this though. I don’t know if the men are happy to see you once knowing they won’t see you again as they have done this, or if they are happy to take a chance hoping you will feel so awkward about it you will go along with it anyway?

Crimeismymiddlename · 01/08/2021 18:23

I have been finding recently that as well as lying about height and looking nothing like the profile picture they are now, brazenly lying about age. Many men who say they are my age or younger who have the wrinkles of men in their fifty’s. I now swipe left if a man is wearing sunglasses/hat/mask/covered face in any other way as they are just trying to disguise what they look like, and it seems a bit sad. That and the obvious over use of Facetune.

Original poster
Ilovegreentomatoes · 01/08/2021 18:25

@ItStartedWithAKiss241 I agree it's so wrong.You invest time and money to go on a date and it's like the person you thought you were going to meet doesn't exsist.

OP posts:
5128gap · 01/08/2021 18:27

The ones who do this are either deluded that they still look like that; think that once you've met them you will be won over by their irresistible personality; or genuinely don't care what you think of them, as their priority will be if you're good enough for them.

waterSpider · 01/08/2021 18:57

(man here).
I remember when I was on online dating some time ago. I correctly put my height (6ft 2). One date, a woman of 5-11, said I was the first man putting that height who was actually taller than her.

SquirryTheSquirrel · 01/08/2021 19:01

@girlmom21

Before you meet them, do you ask them if they actually look like their profile picture?

You'd have to be pretty brazen to lie to someone about that if they asked you outright and you were planning to meet them...

The problem with that is that they might genuinely believe that's what they look like.
girlmom21 · 01/08/2021 19:04

@SquirryTheSquirrel but at least then you'd be well within your rights to walk away as soon as you see them because you've given them the opportunity to reflect on themselves and still either been really naive (and that'd be a bit of a red flag for me as they probably fancy themselves and think more of themselves than they should) or they've chosen to lie outright

JustAnother0ldMan · 01/08/2021 21:57

I have been a bit of OLD recently and you do the same kinda thing going the other way, I’ve seen quite a lot of summer holiday / skiing / horse riding/ profile pictures where you can’t really see the ladies face due to goggles / sun glasses/ hats etc.
The other types of profile pictures I see are when ladies are fully made up / dresed-up for an event, I look at those sometimes and wonder I would recognise that person or not, if I passed them in the street

IndieTara · 02/08/2021 00:12

In 2015 I met a man on OLD he was a lot older looking than his profile picture
( long shiny ginger hair ), when I met him his hair was almost white. He said the photo was 5 yrs old
I saw him on a dating site last year and yep still using the same photo!

Fromablokespoint · 02/08/2021 11:14

I used to use a picture of George Clooney on my profile when I dated. It was only to downplay how handsome I actually am!

We all of course use flattering pictures but I don't get the height thing, you have a rough day and may not look as good as your best profile pic but to loose 3-4 inches takes some explaining!

Original poster
Ilovegreentomatoes · 02/08/2021 11:58

I'm all for using flattering pics but not five year old pics people change a lot in five years. And every man I've ever gone on an online date with have lied about their height apart from one .
When you lie so much it doesn't get the date of to a good start. From now on I'm doing video calls before a meet, yes I do find them cringe but if it saves another wasted night then I'll do it.Tbf I'm sure some men would prefer it to so they can get an idea of they still want to meet you.

OP posts:
Hrpuffnstuff1 · 02/08/2021 12:17

I just told the truth and used recent photos and one in a tux.
With short one-liner intro.

Was always really annoying when the camera had been used by the women to suggest a different appearance. One of my biggest boo-boos was reneging on a friend's 40th to go on a date. She was nothing like her pics, I was quite annoyed with myself. I still met some lovely people though.
You really have to meet someone in real life to gauge attraction, photos don't tell the whole story.

IndieTara · 02/08/2021 12:43

@Ilovegreentomatoes video calls don't tell you about height tho really.
I've also had loads of dates where men have lied about their height, often by 3/4 inches too.
When I'm 5ft 9 and wearing 3 inch heels and my date who said he was 6ft1 is actually shorter than me...

Lampan · 02/08/2021 13:12

I’ve been on and off Tinder since 2014 and some men are STILL using the same photos - the photos were probably not even up to date in 2014!
I was chatting to someone who looked OK in one photo and all the other photos were from a distance or with sunglasses etc. Then I noticed that in the clear photo the guy next to him was wearing a ‘Bench’ T-shirt - Bench was popular in the late 90s and early 2000s. I suspect it was a case of ancient photo rather than this guy having a friend who wears old clothes...
I also once saw a photo where the guy said he was 38 but there was a birthday photo with balloons behind him saying ‘40’
Oh and a photo on someone’s profile with a date stamp on it, from 11 years ago

VeganVeal · 02/08/2021 15:09

Unless they show a photo of themselves holding a fish or stood by a car I'm not interested.

NotWanting · 02/08/2021 15:15

The first ever OL date I went on was with a guy who looked about my age in his photos.

When he turned up he looked at least 10 years older.

I said to him that he should have put more recent photos up and not lie. Then went home.

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