How you would characterize the 2 people in this story?

[TheoFou]

Hi There,

I want to say a story and i would like your feedback on how you would characterize the 2 persons of this story.

We have this couple, John and Jessie.
John is in his work from early morning as he has a dead line to meet today and he is running out of time. John has arranged with Jessie to collet her son from her friends place at 1:30pm and drop him at his football campus at 2:00pm. This because Jessie needs to drive in an other city as she has few meetings there with her work.
On the way Jessies car breaks down in the motorway. At this point there is only the emergency line where she can park the car. She struggles to park it but still she is very near to the lorries driving very fast bypass her. She is messaging John and he calls her back. She is experiencing some anxiety and she is in panic as also stressed about her work. John tries to calm her down, asks her to remain in the car for her safety and call for road assistance, as also her location because John wants to go and help her.

So John leaves his office and drives to her location which was around 40 minutes away. On the way he stops to get some water for her and some food and snack for her. He meets her and he remains with her. Road assistance arrives and they load the car so they can transfer it to the garage for service. They transfer Jessies work stuff to Johns car. John drives Jessie to the town where her meeting is, and the road assistance has organized a car to collect her from there. The time is 1:00pm and John is stressed that he might be late to collect Jessies son. He now drives back with 160 - 180 km per hour. He manages to collect Jessies son and drop him at this campus 3 minutes late. Then John go back to his office. He needs to work late to catch up the lost time. So he leaves office at 10:00pm.
Next day John and Jessie have an argument for an unrelated reason.

During this argument John uses the yesterdays example to show to Jessie that she can rely on him and he has never denied to help her. Jessie answered back saying that she would have managed and she didn't needed John to come and help her with the car.

What do you think ?

They both have priorities other than each other. Taking time out means making it up but to 10pm seems excessive.

John was lovely in realising she was stressed about her breakdown and going to help her. Jessie is probably reflecting on what happened and realised she probably would have managed but John has shown himself to be helpful and reliable for sure.

Is this a real story or a made up one?

Jessie was panicking and calling John yesterday. He was kind and reliable

This is a real story.

Jessie seems unkind. John was kind and helpful yesterday and she seems really ungrateful about it.

Jessie has a victim complex and he has a saviour complex. Also, staying in the car is absolutely the wrong advice.

John's a good'un. He can, despite everything else, still prioritise Jesse and kid(s). Jessie lacks appreciation and my assumption is she's self-centred yet needy.

That is insanely fast to drive a car! Call ahead, John, and say you’ll be running late.

Jessie, you’re a grownup. Call for road assistance when you break down. Job done. Don’t be mean to John. He seems like a good guy.

Jessie has a victim complex and shouldn't be driving if she can't cope with a simple breakdown (calling John rather than the recovery service and needing food to be brought to her). John has a saviour complex.

The advice to remain in the car is absolutely incorrect.

If Jessie didn't need his help by coming to her then she had ample time on the phone to tell John so. Also, you never recommend someone stays in their car on the side of the road.

Are the sexes reversed in the real life event by any chance?

John was kind and helpful, but Jessie is an adult with a driver's licence, so she is quite right that she could have dealt with it alone.
By panicking in such an obvious way to John, then letting him take over the situation as if she was a child, she was putting herself in a position that John could potentially take advantage of later, either in an argument or by trying to persuade her that she's incapable of looking after herself so he needs him to take charge. John may of course be a lovely guy who would never do that, but Jessie needs to be careful about that in general. Maybe Jessie realised that she didn't enjoy being treated like she was incapable, and was just as annoyed with herself as she was with John.

Team John here. He sounds lovely and the kind of man to be with.

John was driving dangerously fast and that would be enough for me.

However, she seems really needy and selfish and doesn't understand he was doing what he could to help.

No this is a real life event and sexes aren't reversed.

Its not what you asked but it's not good safety practice to stay inside a car that's on the hard shoulder, and what was the speed limit where he was going 160-180k?

160-180kmph.

There is so much wrong with this I barely know where to start.

John went out his way to help her and also to make sure her son got to his football training on time. He comes out of this very well IMO; he helped her out - to his own detriment - when she was in trouble. He could have said "Sorry I'm really busy right now, you'll have to deal with it yourself". How would she have reacted had he done so?

If Jessie was really able to deal with the situation unaided, she wouldn't have called him in the first place. Was she embarrassed or angry to admit she was in a bad situation and needed help? Did she feel she should have been an independent woman and dealt with the issue herself rather than having John get involved?

OP ... are you John or Jessie? (I'm guessing John)

i d say at that location he was driving 120km per/hour

The thing is, if either Jessie or John are telling this story (and I suspect it is John) we only have their interpretation of what the other one was feeling. Maybe Jessie would not say she was struggling, anxious, panicking etc. Maybe that was John's interpretation.

What was the unrelated argument about.

John acted like most wives hope that their husbands would act imo. He came because she was panicky and didn't even think to call the recovery service so not as calm and capable as she thinks. I'm not saying that she isn't capable but saying that John's actions were unnecessary is a kick in the teeth for him. If she didn't want him there she could have said at the time and had ample opportunity to send him back to his day.

I didn't even note the speed. Presume this did not happen in the UK?

I live in Germany, where 160-180 kph is not that unusual a speed. Maybe John and Jessie live here too, if they describe the speed in km and use the word order in the thread heading .

John did all that and still collected her son? Team John here.

Surely Jessie should have just called the Aa or whoever and sent hm a text to update him. He had a deadline to meet and didn't need to be called?

I think Jessie is a pain in the ass. Sounds like she was happy to do the damsel in distress bit when it suited her, but then belittled John’s contribution.

She didn’t have to send him her location, or say she was feeling stressed/anxious if she was set on sorting the whole issue out herself.