Feel so low 😞

[Mehhhhhhhhh]

As I fall deeper into what feels like a pit of despair my ex is seemingly doing better than ever, after all the pain and the verbal and emotional abuse he gave me along with his family and friends, I'm still left reeling and picking up my broken pieces and he's happy as Larry doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants without a care in the world. I feel really low today and i just can't shake how unfair this all is! He gets to be happy and I get to be depressed and trying to get over all the nasty shit that came out of his mouth and put a fake happy smile on my face every day so people don't see how hurt and down I really am. Does it get better? I just want to feel happy again

I completely understand! I ended an abusive relationship a few months ago. He has moved on, new partner, everyone rallying round him, he’s so brave, I’m nasty etc. He still tries to control me.
On my side, I’ve had the police contact me frequently to discuss things I’ve disclosed and consider prosecution. It really messes with my head!
Sometimes I feel so very down, I think about what would be the best way to end it all. But then I remind myself I’d be leaving my children at his mercy and I would never be able to speak up for myself, or protect them.
Just try to be kind to yourself. Take pleasure in small things. And try not to worry about what he’s up to. I’m sure it’s all fake anyway.

Do one thing today that’s just for you and makes you smile. ❤️

@Watchingyouwazowski
I'm so sorry your going through similar. I just don't understand how these men can act like this way and still get all the support going! They don't seem to realise (or maybe they do and just don't care) about all the destruction they leave behind.

I've been looking into hobbies etc I'm sure il find something that catches my eye x

I know! They are the abusers but somehow turn themselves into the victims.
I choose to ignore his behaviour. Sometimes it really gets to me, particularly when he involves the children (and then tells me not to involve the children!) but I keep channeling my inner Elsa and let it go!
I am grateful for the things I can do now that I couldn’t do when he was here.

They don't care, it's justified in their eyes. Use this time to feel angry, to feel hurt, to speak your truth. Confide in trusted people. Write it out, sing it out, feel it out.

I kept it all in and here I am all these years later still trying to face it all but having the issue that I stuffed it all very far down and don't know how to connect with it or really remember what happened in any detail.

Good advice @Colourmeclear. I have a friend I rant to. I have also started a class that gets lots of frustration out!

How do you know what he’s up to? You need to go full No Contact - no conversations about him with mutual friends, no shared social media, complete block. If you have DC - choose one, very limited mode of communication (email, txt) and make sure you only communicate about the DC needs and arrangements.
Whether it’s his lack of conscience, compartmentalisation, living in denial of what he’s done - it doesn’t matter. Stop focusing on him; refocus fully and completely on you.
He was part of your life story for a moment in time. That moment is gone. Try to refocus on YOUR present and YOUR future.
It gets better, I promise. And long term you’ll be so thankful that he’s not part of your life!

OP abusers aren’t happy people.

They are fucked up, desperately sad shells with non existent self worth, a shit of self hatred and a body full of toxic energy.

They aren’t happy. He might look happy and put a big smile on his face, laugh and act like the king of the world. But he’s a broken little man. He’s human garbage and he knows it, deep down he knows it. Or he wouldn’t have to act the way he does.

If he was a happy person he wouldn’t be an abusive cunt. Those two things can’t exist together.

So forget about him because the smile is fake, the value he places upon himself is fake. And in the long run he will be alone, unloved and unwanted.

You however have the freedom to be really happy, the choice to be a good person and to put all your energy into living a life free from toxicity, doing the things that make you happy and spending time with people who love and respect you.

It feels shit when you’re not over it but it’s going to feel amazing when you turn that corner.

You win OP, you get a happy life, even if you don’t feel it yet, it’s coming and you just have to keep looking ahead and keep your arms open for it

Draw on the fact that you know who the true abuser is. Abusers seldom feel good about themselves.

You are very correct, it most likely Is a lie that he's happy and doing so much better. All cleverly orchestrated to make me feel worse about myself.

I know I'm a good person and I know I'm not what he says. I just need to pull myself out of this low mood and il be fine x