My friend who I've known for years has become a completely different person. He has gone from the most kind, helpful, generous person who volunteered, did loads for charity and was well respected to a shadow of himself.
First of all he became severely depressed and started pushing people away, ignoring messages and isolated himself. The only place he'd go to is work and other than that he'd be in his flat. He would take weeks to reply to me and on the rare times he agreed to meet he wasn't his normal self. He couldn't hide the depression anymore I could see it on his face and he could be snappy sometimes and wouldn't stay out long. He would open up to me a bit and say he felt suicidal and had thoughts of crashing his car into a tree and things like that. I always said I'd be here to chat and I encouraged him to get counselling which he did and he said it helped but because it was on the NHS he only got a limited number of sessions which he felt wasn't enough.
Anyway over the last couple of years it's got worse and worse as he has turned to addictions to deal with the depression which obviously has made everything worse. He started doing cocaine in large quantities in his flat on his own. He told me at some points he was spending a thousand pounds a week at his worst. That he'd even go without food to get it. He got into so much debt he ended up moving back to his mums when he's nearly 40. He seems so miserable about it all but he can't seem to stop. He's had to change his number 3 times now to stop drug dealers messaging him as he just can't say no. Then he'll manage to stay off a few months but always goes back. He also admitted that in this time that he'd even walked the streets to find homeless people to chat to in the hope that they'll know people who can get him drugs. He even did crack with some homeless people too. He openly admits this stuff but I think if this is what he admits to there's probably loads more worse stuff I don't even know about. Even though he's not had any for months he admitted if it was there in front of him now he'd have to have it. The only way he's managed to stay off so far is not go anywhere, avoid everyone and change his number but he's done this all before.
Anyway I saw him recently and he said this is the longest he's managed to stay off drugs and he hasn't done anything in 7 months but instead he's now turned to alchohol and can't stop. He's always been a big drinker and he admitted he has drunk every single day without fail for over 2 years but since he stopped the drugs its got worse. He says he drinks at least a bottle of wine and a few beers a night. His whole weekends are just wasted on drinking the weekend away and then recovering and trying to hold down a professional, stressful job through the week. I dont know how he's got away with no one picking up on it or him getting the sack. He says every day he'll walk past the shop and tell himself I'm not going in today and then he'll get to the end of the road and turn round again and than stand outside the shop thinking don't do it but than always gives in. He sounds so sad when he tells me this.
He can't have a relationship because his addictions come first and he's so depressed he pushes everyone away and is so unreliable. I'm the only friend he has left and that's because I'm the one that makes the effort. I've had to distance myself a lot lately as I havent been well myself and I know there's nothing I can do. I get hurt too that he ignores me and takes no interest in my life when he was my best friend but I know this isn't him it's the addiction. He's become so selfish and narcissistic and openly admits that he hurts people and is a compulsive liar now. He's always feeling guilty and ashamed about everything but than this makes him drink more to block it all out how he's treated people. He even admitted that he's drove home drunk a few times which I couldn't believe. He would never have been so selfish before its like he doesn't care about anyone or anything.
I dont know what to do or say as he's desperate for help but at the same time says he doesn't want to go to the doctors as doesn't want anything on his record. I said go somewhere anonymous but he's scared he'll see people he knows so he just does nothing. He always has an excuse why he's drinking, that his job is stressful or he can't get over his ex or he's depressed. They are all true but he needs better coping mechanisms. He knows this but still continues.
I'm terrified he's going to kill himself. How can he drink that amount every night without consequences, not to mention all the damage he's done to his body with the drugs. I'm scared for him and sad for him too. He was honestly the kindest most caring person I ever met, so intelligent, has a great job and he's just thrown it all away. Is there any hope he can come back from this or is he too far gone? I can't watch him kill himself and I've even had bad dreams that he died and I wake up crying. I'd miss him so much even though I already feel like I've lost him anyway but still have a tiny bit of hope he can come back from this and can have my lovely friend back.