I just don't know what to do. How do I forget this man and sort things with my DH?

[vconfused]

I have used MN for years and it's the only place I can come to where I see sound advice when I can't talk to my friends. I am hoping someone will be able to give some advice.

My situation is that I am married with two children. Things started to go wrong between my husband and me about 18 months ago. We had various pressures on us and we broke up for a few months recently. Our children continued to live with him for various reasons. Now I live back at home, mainly for the children.

A few months ago I became involved with another man. He is not suitable for me at all and has emotional problems, but nevertheless I have fallen for him a little bit and I can't get him out of my mind. I have finished contact with him so that I can try to get things back on track with my DH. This man was into me, but I think was hoping that I would dump my family, and that is never going to happen!

I really want to fix things with my husband, I don't want to be with this other man - but how do I stop thinking about him? I know I would never be happy with him. And I want my DH and children and I to be a family again but I don't know how to un-do all the damage...
Any advice?

What has this other guy have to offer you that your husband doesn't?

What do you have to offer this other guy that you do not have to offer your husband?

My husband and I were married and had our first 2 kids young, what with pressure of work and parenthood and general immaturity we broke up and like you the kids were with their dad for a time while I found a job and all the rest.

It was a horrible time for all involved and we spent a year seperated and both tried other relationships untill we both began indivdual counselling.

We eventually felt ready to give it another try and it was tough to begin with. But we are here 6 years later and could not be happier. We are best friends and have 2 more beautiful kids and even though we have bad days we work through our issues together.

Another man is not going to make you happy if you are un happy with yourself, that is a problem in so many relationships, is people relying on the other for their happiness. Happiness comes from within.

This is a chance for you and your husband to change the things you are unhappy with in your relationship. After all if you did decide to move on with another guy he will have all his own issues and you carry yours with you, what an unhealthy start.

I feel so sad when I think back on the pain our children were caused by our insecurities and lack of communication. If I had know then what I know now things would have been so much better, however it was due to our time apart that we had time to grow and mature which might never have happened had we been together.

Take a chance with your family, they need you so much and you too need them. You only get one chance at it life it is not a dress rehersal. Forget this guy who is keen on removing a mother from her kids any man like that is not a mature caring person deep down.

Hope this helps you and you make a rational decision based on whats best for you and the people who you love.

any guy that wants you to leave your kids is a waste of space - I don't like the sound of him so dump him NOW!