Spouse saying they want a divorce

[Lakeeminesota]

Has anyone had their spouse say they want a divorce when having a disagreement then change their mind later?

I had one who said it to keep me in line and would recant when I'd begged forgiveness, does that help?

Actually divorced now and thrilled about it!

Also, when Iater I asked if he had been considering divorce his response was, 'no. I wouldn't want to ruin DCs' lives'.

What gives?

So everytime you disagree with him he threatens to divorce you is that it?

I'd laugh and agree with him next time he says he wants a divorce. I bet he doesn't actually go and get one.

Just laugh at the childish twit!

Is this a one off? Was it said in anger or did you feel he meant it seriously?

It sounds like this might have thrown up issues in your marriage you both need to address if you don’t want to get divorced. It sounds like he isn’t happy at the moment.

I would go so far as to say that nobody who truly respected their spouse would say this to them in this way.

In my opinion, people shouldn't mention divorce unless they had actually been thinking about divorce. Then there's an adult and respectful way to broach the subject.

@Lakeeminesota

Also, when Iater I asked if he had been considering divorce his response was, 'no. I wouldn't want to ruin DCs' lives'.

What gives?

So he's not divorcing because of the DC then?

Can the kids hear him saying this stuff?

Did he grow up in a family where this sort of nasty threat was an everyday occurrence, so to him it's just how you argue?

Does " I wouldn't want to ruin DCs' lives" mean "I'm only staying with you because of the kids"?

Yeah, changed his mind after the divorce he instigated actually went through as he couldn't cope financially or generally. We'd been married for 20 years.
Wanted to come back - I told him to go to fuck.

@PurpleDaisies

Is this a one off? Was it said in anger or did you feel he meant it seriously?

It sounds like this might have thrown up issues in your marriage you both need to address if you don’t want to get divorced. It sounds like he isn’t happy at the moment.

A one off as in hadn't happened previously in 25 years. He was angry when he said it.

Sounds to me like he has been considering it at some point.
Is he staying for the children, would you want to stay with him just for the children ?

@ravenmum

Can the kids hear him saying this stuff?

Did he grow up in a family where this sort of nasty threat was an everyday occurrence, so to him it's just how you argue?

Does " I wouldn't want to ruin DCs' lives" mean "I'm only staying with you because of the kids"?

Kids are adults.

His parents had a few problems but this sort of threat was not an everyday occurrence.

I took him to mean that about the DC so I asked him 'not my life then?' he said yes obviously mine as well.

Are things generally well with your relationship?

Is it totally out of character and unexpected, or have things otherwise been as bleak?