Pre teen son wants to be a girl.

[beattieedny]

I've always been very 'boys and girls can both do the same things, like what they like, play anything' and my eldest is a fairly standard 16yr old. Eleven Yr old has always been more gentle, stereotypically less male but still always enjoyed friends of both sexes. Recently, he's said he might like to ve a girl. It's a new thing. I asked what it means to him and he doesn't know or can't put into words. He likes 'having boy bits' and doesn't want a girls body. I have often thought he might be gay when he is grows up as he's quite 'camp' but obvs too young to really know.
We had a good chat. I don't think kids will should transition but I be told him that he is should just be himself and not do anything until he's older.
Any input is appreciated! I can't talk to my irl friends at the moment as they are all away on holiday and this isn't really a text message conversation.

I can't think what I would do differently OP. It's not a quick fix kind of thing, it's lots of ongoing conversations and it's obvious that he can talk to you about anything. I don't think any of this means anything hugely significant now people can present pretty much how they like, it's just a self discovery thing isn't it.

I think you have said the right thing, for him to be who he is and not try to be anything else.
I believe there is a long line between masculine and feminine, and we all fall somewhere along it, and we aren't static either, so on any given day, someone may feel slightly more masculine or feminine than they did another day.
Having confidence in who he is is great, and he shouldn't try to pigeon hole himself.

Thank you! Just need to get it off my chest!

I'd gently question what "being a girl" means to him. What would he be able to do as a girl that he can't do as a boy?

It’s good to hear he doesn’t want to change his body. I hope that as he gets older he doesn’t end up with friends who try to persuade him otherwise though.

I think what you have said is just fine.
You might want to check his internet usage though and see where he's been looking for information. Not every source out there is unbiased and he may be looking at sites which offer misinformation.

“Give it some thought, and let’s have a chat when you’re ready”.

My default position at this stage would be that he’s read about it and not serious.

So I would leave call in his court, but make clear you are here and ready to listen whenever he’s ready.

You’ve said and done the right thing.
Just keep communicating.

All excellent ideas, thank you!