Should we break up? We never even met (LDR)

[throwawayaaaa]

I met this girl during this pandemic, we know each other for almost 1 year and this is my first relationship, we are both F and 19. To sum up things we've been talking every day for 5/6 hours a day and I can consider myself happy with her, she's great, I trust her, I feel comfortable with her (I have social anxiety and dont feel comfortable even w my friends), we care for each other, we have fun with each other, we try to help and make eachother a better person and we're both people who get tired of other people real fast, but this time this didnt happen, and I think we're pretty attached because If we dont talk for a day we really miss each other (yeah this is not healthy), the thing I love most in our relationship is that we always solve things out and can really TALK with each other after we fight, even if we're mad we're always trying to be mature and really UNDERSTAND each other, but there's this thing:

We never have deep and conversations and I just dont feel that spark, that connection, she doesnt really stimulate me intelectually (and I'm a person that really needs that), I can tell that I really care for her and she's the person that I like most in this world but I dont know if I love her, and I dont feel she's the one (and that fact she's my FIRST girlfriend really makes me overthink everything), but the thing is, I have a lot of mental illness (anxiety, depression, OCD) I am REALLY insecure and I doubt everything in my life, I have this tendecy to selfsabotage everything, and this is my first relationship, I dont know how Im supposed to feel, I dont know how can I KNOW if I love her or not, or if I was ever in love or not, I wish there was a test to it, please dont tell me "you just feel it" cause I rationalize everything and never know my own feeling to anything in my life (yeah this sucks)

I dont wanna throw away everything that we have for this one thing that I dont know if can be changed or not, I dont wanna lose her, but I dont wanna hold her in a relationship that I keep thinking has no future, also dont wanna hurt her, but the thing is, she's the only person in my entire life that I can really be myself with, and can really trust. And I know this SUCKS, codependecy stuff and shit, but we spend >>all

Too intense and angsty.

End it and in future try to invest in relationships where you physically meet up.

Why haven't you met up yet? I doubt I'd be able to feel that spark or connection with someone I hadn't actually met.

You need to meet up and see what you're like in real life.

Way too intense for someone you've never met, a break sounds a good idea

Are you both in the same country?

@Etsylicious

Too intense and angsty.

End it and in future try to invest in relationships where you physically meet up.

i mean, we live 5 hours from eachother so its not impossible to meet when this pandemic ends

@SirenSays

Why haven't you met up yet? I doubt I'd be able to feel that spark or connection with someone I hadn't actually met.

due to the pandemic

@Myotherusernamewastakenagain

Are you both in the same country?

yeah we live 5 hours from eachother

OP there's a middle ground here. How about you pull back until you can meet? Back right off, cut down on the conversations and ground yourself. Then meet up when you can and take it from there.

You talk about a few problems such as lack of a support network and co-dependency (although I think you're using it wrong - are you a rescuer or enabler?) and perhaps this is something to work on in the meantime.

Long distance relationships can work if you are aiming on being together at some point but for the time being, just slow it right down.