First date in 8 years... panicky... calm me down!

[datepanic]

Namechanged for this.

I've got a date on Sunday evening - meal out.
It's all come as a bit of a surprise to be honest. I haven't had a date since I met my ex and that was 8 years ago. I was with him for 5 years and it was absolute hell - on and off all the time, he had alcohol problems as well as other mental health issues, he treated me like shit, he sucked all the life and energy out of me and my self-esteem hit absolute rock bottom.
I've now spent nearly 3 years single and had decided I never wanted anything to do with a man ever again. I've done a lot of work on myself and I'm feeling great.
Recently I've let my protective barriers down a bit and I started to feel attraction and emotions for a man - finally.. I had pretty much thought my heart was dead. Nothing's happened with that guy but now all of a sudden this other man has popped up and asked me on a date.
I've known him for a long time but we haven't seen each other for ages due to one thing and another. All of a sudden out of nowhere he asks me on a date.
I said yes.

Now I'm panicking. I have no idea how to behave, what to wear, what to talk about, what happens next. Also wondering whether I should have said no to the date and tried harder with the other bloke but this one, the one I'm going on the date with, I've liked him for a long time - since before my ex in fact but back then he wasn't in a position to date anyone (his brother had recently taken his own life).

Would be nice if some of you could keep me calm so I don't get worked up before Sunday evening.

Hi OP this is exciting but I understand how it's also totally nerve wracking!

But good for you for letting yourself give this a try 😊

Can you talk us through some outfit options and tell us the kind of place you're going so that you can pace yourself and feel ready for Sunday?

I'm so jealous by the way, I had 3 dates lined up for this week and for one reason osn or another none of them happened! Embrace this 😁

I'm kind of proud of myself for saying yes at all. I was wavering in my panic.

I'm in a different country so it's hard to describe the sort of eatery it is. It's like a cross between a pub and a restaurant - so you'd have people there eating but also people just drinking. However, there's no bar so everyone is seated.
You'd have people in all kinds of clothes from casual to smart - but nobody really dressed up if you see what I mean.

I'm thinking jeans and some kind of blouse or top.
I've got a nice dark green denim style jacket or a grey biker jacket.

Smart casual sounds good. How well do you know this guy? Have you got some common interest you can talk about or refer to? Where was the last place you travelled to on a trip or where would you really like to go? Do you have any particular interests you could talk about? Ask him about his. A date is a two way street so dont be afraid to ask questions, nor talk about your own likes/dislikes. You're sizing each other up to see if you'd like to date again.

Good luck.

We have a musical instrument in common though he had to give it up due to a health issue.
We are casual acquaintances rather than friends.
But I do know stuff like where he works, hobbies, that kind of thing.

That's a good start already, I'm sure you'll have lots of things to talk about. If the chemistry is there then great. If not, at least you've been brave and got yourself out there. Just enjoy yourself.

I've got a jittery stomach!

Aww the jitters is a good thing. Means you're excited God knows, every one needs some excitement after 18 months of pandemic madness.

Got butterflies in my stomach today.
It's all just too much excitement for me after years of a total shit relationship.
I've picked out my outfit anyway so that's one less thing to panic about.
He's sent a couple of nice messages today about looking forward to it etc.

Keep us posted OP I wish I was going on a date haha. Bet your outfit looks lovely. It sounds like you really like the guy.

Well I'm not going on a date now either... he's got COVID symptoms.....

Oh no! Has he given an opportunity to rearrange when he is better/self isolated?

He says he will let me know when he has had the test.

Oh that's so disappointing.. Bloody covid. Fingers crossed for a negative result