Should I offer to let him stay

[privethedge]

The person I am in a very new relationship with is separated awaiting divorce proceedings. It is a very new relationship but he stays with me every night whilst renting a room at a hotel at the same time having left the marital home. Am I being mean in not offering the option of staying at my place instead of renting the room?

It seems important that I don't take this step but at the same time slightly ridiculous that he paying a small fortune for accommodation he simply isn't using.

Any thoughts please?

How long have you been with this man? If its only a few week or even months I would not offer him to crash at yours - but that's just mee.

How new is new?
How long ago did he leave the marital home?

You say that 'it seems important you don't take that step' which tells me that you know it's not the right/best thing to do. Maybe you are feeling guilty for not having him to stay despite this?

I apologise in advance for asking, but was your relationship the cause of the marriage break-up?

Could things get a little messy if he moves in?

I'd let him move in if

a. it feels right
b. if it doesnt work you know he will leave instantly
c. he is willing to pay his way and help around the house
d. respects your privacy and space if you need him to.
e. he's good in bed.

You don't mention children, how many, how old etc?

try it on a week to week basis?

LMG- LOL @ 'E'

What? [innocent look] It's important........there's going to be cold winter nights, she might egt bored if theres nothing on the tele......

Very true....and it'd save on the heating bills I s'pose

Yes I can tick the 'e' box lol!

His children from first marriage live with their mother and he has no children from his second marriage. My children live with me and are all under 8. Our children get on great.

However, this relationship is a month old - going great and I think has good potential but it is still vvvvvv early days. I would absolutely not even consider being together in this way were it not for the fact that the paying for accommodation is a ridiculous waste of resources.

I think I know it is silly and too fast but then I don't have any real justification for a go slow approach either.

I think we are both quite impulsive and thus it may work fine just as it may be an impulsive move too far iyswim?

I've always been a fast mover, my ex (notice it didnt work out there) moved in after knowing me 3 days! we were together 2yrs but he was abusive.

However my current dp (who i've been living with over 6 yrs now) actually moved in before we officially got together, he just started coming round daily and falling asleep on the sofa, eventually he moved into my bed and it went on from there, we officially moved in together feb 2002 only because i was moving house and i asked him to move with me, i realised I didnt want to move without him.

Moral of the story - try it it might work? (not a very catchy saying is it!)

Ahhh do I know you?

Methinks I do-have you changed your name again?
If so I think I should bail out here-you already know what I think!

yeah you nutter (x) course you know me! But thought I'd ask people who are mad like me also so I can ignore your sage advice, see!

Thanks LMG