Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationship problem

11 replies

Jenny008 · 29/07/2021 23:01

I am going into my 9th year of marriage and things are taking a toll for the worst. I have 2 kids but I feel so lonely and neglected at home. What makes it worse is, my husband is at home during these times but preoccupied on the phone to his family. He is there to catch their sneeze before they start coughing metaphorically. When it comes to helping me, he gets frustrated, saying I am in the queue. Now, things are getting physical because I can't take it anymore. We argue more because I have cut ties with his family. Their problems were too much to bear and my own household was on fire. When I mean problems, not urgent problems, e.g. his Dad calls him at 1am to say the WiFi is out. Sis calling about what gas company for husband to join, he is handling Dad's insurance and electricity bills, his Mum complaining that she is fed up of her husband and seem to transfer the love to my husband. He even forgot to pay attention to mortgage and electric bill, to the extent that our contract expires and was put on an expensive tariff. I am no angel, because I have been quiet for sooo long, now I get angry and physical with him. I am soo unhappy that I feel like I should sought out for what I lack. What should I do, I have spoken multiple times to him but he sees no problem. We have no communication and I have to argue for him to communicate with the kids. My life now is, I argue for him to get things done. Question is, is this the time to walk?

OP posts:
Jenny008 · 29/07/2021 23:02

Pls help me

OP posts:
Pessismistic · 29/07/2021 23:07

Only you can decide but would you be happier without him and the inlaws?

recreationalcalpol · 29/07/2021 23:09

I think that if you have hit your husband, it’s probably time to leave, yes. For his sake.

SStopRaisingHim · 29/07/2021 23:16

You’re an abuser. Leave him alone.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/07/2021 23:19

Obviously, the time to leave was long ago. Stop hitting your husband, ffs.

stellaisabella · 29/07/2021 23:21

None of what you've said is an excuse for hitting him. No matter how you've tried to make
Him the bad guy. You're behaviour is atrocious and you should absolutely leave, for his sake.

Rogue1001 · 29/07/2021 23:37

Do you also hit your children?

Timeforredwine · 29/07/2021 23:42

There is no excuse for physical violence or verbal abuse. Nothing wrong in helping your family either. If things are so bad you need to make some tough decisions plus get some support and counselling. Your poor husband.

NotaCoolMum · 29/07/2021 23:45

Stop abusing him for a start.

Jenny008 · 30/07/2021 08:47

Thanks for your comments. I don't like the person I have become. I would commence separation, that way we can have mutual feelings towards eachother not this toxicity.

OP posts:
heyday · 30/07/2021 10:30

Your marriage is in serious trouble. He obviously annoys you but you have no right whatsoever to hit him. I am sure he must lean on his family more as his marriage is obviously falling apart. You need to get some counselling to help you deal with your anger and as you are quite clearly very unhappy then you need to separate.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page