Sleeping

[111Madcow]

Hi, I wonder if anyone has any suggestions for my daughter and her grandson please…… her partner walked out last week leaving her just finishing her maternity leave for my second grandson. First grandson is going to be 4 in a few months. He’s not coping very well with his daddy leaving. He used to go to bed fine, at 7.00 and most nights sleep very well. Now he is crying and screaming when mummy leaves him. He’s kicking his bed guard and this can go on for a good hour or so. We are worried that he’s going to hurt himself and that he’s obvious hurting because daddy left, (no chance of reconcile, he’s being a complete idiot), and we don’t want him emotionally damaged. We have tried everything we can think of and this is why I’ve joined mumsnet to see if this has happened to anyone else and if there’s anything we can do to help him through this difficult time. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. names edited by MNHQ at OP's request - outing

What a difficult time for all of them. The 4 year old is likely to be feeling really insecure at the moment, not understanding and scared that mummy may off and leave him too, it must be really scary. Can she do lots and lots of reassurance, and can he sleep in your daughters bed with her for the time being? Just for that reassurance that she is there. Or can she stay with him while he falls asleep? It may take a while at first (and feel like the last thing she wants when she just needs time alone or to catch up on jobs), but as he is more settled and more secure she can start to leave a bit earlier, just popping in to reassure him. It might feel like a backwards step but really you want your grandson to feel loved and secure and he will go back to sleeping well again in his own time.

If you report your post to mumsnet they can edit it to remove your grandsons names, just to keep it more anonymous.

He may well be scared that his Mum is also going to disappear. There is a lovely picture book called The invisible string" that might really help him, plus lots of reassurances that mummy isn't going anywhere.
www.amazon.co.uk/Invisible-String-Patrice-Karst/dp/031648623X/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=invisible+string+book&sprefix=invisible+string&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1627593877&sr=8-1

PuffinPeter, how do i report to admin please, very new to this!!! Thank you so much for your advice.

EducatingArti, thank you, I have just ordered that book.

It's only a week OP, that's nothing. He'll be fine, these things maybe take a bit more time/take their own time.