I'm in my young twenties. When I was a teen I was with this guy. We was on and off for 5 years. I'm pretty sure he was my first love. I never had closure when we fell apart. We never really loved each other properly either as we was new to everything and figuring each other out. When we broke up for good I was distraught. Roll on now and our last contact was about 3 years ago. Ironaicaly I ended up settling with one of his childhood friends. We've had a child together but our relationship has never been easy. I constantly find myself thinking about this other guy. I dream about him. I never wanted kids but I always thought if it was going to be with anyone it would be with him. It sounds cheesy writing it out but this guy felt like my home and I thought he was the one. I dont want to be that person that is constantly looking back and wondering if he was the "one that got away". I fantasy about when life will accidentally bring us back together again. We used to always find our way back to each other even if it took years. I dont want to constantly be living in the past like this. Especially when I know he could of moved on by now and it makes me feel bleak about my current future. What is this? Escapism because my relationship has been very rocky? Obsession on the thing I've never had or do I genuinely just love and miss this person? Should I do anything about it. I'm so confused!