Am I cruel or stupid to think of leaving for a while?

[Oh2bFree]

My husband is going through a legal court case which he already had been granted an order for conduct of the sale, where the joint other owner and her partner of a property are now trying to block the sale as soon as sale was agreed.

I have helped my husband in all of the preparation in getting his case over the line and this last minute blockage has thrown me totally mentally off balance. It is pure legal bullying from the other side, and I think it is this bullying element and the feeling of being trapped that has triggered some sort of severe stress reaction in me where I can barely function. I have spoken to the doctor who has prescribed anti-depressants and beta-blockers for panic attacks. However they don't seem to be helping as yet.

My body and mind are in some sort of constant fight or flight mode and I just feel like leaving asap but feel cruel for even having these thoughts as I know this is not my husband's fault. We have discussed me leaving as an interim measure but I am worried how he will be able to cope himself and also that he might make mistakes in the final legal preparation (he is representing himself and has done to date).
The problem is my response mechanisms can no longer cope with even a single mention of the case at it's most crucial time. I wish I could muster the strength and regain perspective but it has become massive in my head and completely obsessive to the point where I cant sleep or eat worrying and stressing about it. The next 2 weeks are crucial to know if the house sale will go through and I feel it is a stupid decision to consider leaving before we even see the outcome of the next hearing, but when I felt yesterday morning that I was having a heart attack (it was a panic attack) all I could think of was removing myself from this scenario asap.

I am not working and am wondering if I am mad to consider leaving and using my savings to pay for 6 months rent upfront somewhere simply to be removed from being anywhere near this. I know not working is making this worse (plus menopause) but I worry that even if I was working full-time but still seeing him every night, it would not be enough to alleviate the stress that I feel will one day soon kill me. I feel absolutely desperate on a daily level.

Can anyone please help with perspective or their thoughts on this?

I've had a similar breakdown, op. And my advice is simple, you have to get completely away from the situation causing it. For everyone's sake but most importantly of all so that you can have a fighting chance of regaining your health.

I wish someone had told me to get away and do whatever it took to regain my health before I completely collapsed and was hospitalised and never got back what I had. That's all I can say.
Wishing you well, op.

Thanks ShirleyDab,

I know deep down you are right. I am caught between the fight in my head of 'why should I be forced to spend my savings because of these terrible people and their bullying' and actually feeling that I have no other choice and that it really boils down to spending my savings or risking my health.

I just wish I had a job right now so I wouldn't feel so vulnerable or sat risk in spending money on rent upfront.

I'm also so sorry to hear you were hospitalised ShirleyDab. I hope you have found a way forward now? How did you cope/are you coping?

From your husband point of view, I don’t know if I could forgive my partner if they abandoned me during an incredibly stressful, upsetting and important time.

It may the the right thing to do for your MH, but for your marriage? I think it would forever affect it.

Is this his ex-wife/partner who's blocking the sale, OP?

That is also at the forefront of my mind which adds to the pressure of what to do. But my mental health issues are also making him feel under more pressure too. It is a vicious circle. I just wish I could find the coping mechanisms and strength to deal with this to support both him and myself. The problem is, all my abilities seem to have left me and I feel absolutely demented by this.

@RunningFromInsanity

From your husband point of view, I don’t know if I could forgive my partner if they abandoned me during an incredibly stressful, upsetting and important time.

It may the the right thing to do for your MH, but for your marriage? I think it would forever affect it.

But at the same time it sounds like the OPs husband is putting pressure on her by representing himself. He could choose to get proper legal advice, but hasn't, and now his wife is buckling under the strain.

Hardly fair is it?

Do what you have to do OP