Need advice

[yorkshiremummy97]

Me and my partner have been together almost 3 years, in which time frame we have had 2 kids who are both under 2 and everything definitely moved fast. We are both still young ish, hes 28 I'm 24 and we constantly argue. I don't know if it's the strain of everything, having 2 little ones and never really having "us" time. I admit majority of it is my fault. I'm hot headed, seem hard to please all the time and just not a nice person at the best of times. I don't know why I'm like it, I feel like I've lost myself over the years. Last night we had a huge row which ended in him leaving to go to his mums. I feel broken, he seems to have lost his tether with me now and is done. He is coming home later to talk, and I'm just so worried that this is it. He has his issues too, but I know I'm the bigger issue here. I'm stressed most of the time because I have the children by myself 6 days a week whilst he's working, which by the time he's home I just need a break. I know that's my own fault for having children and I'm not blaming them at all - they're my world and I don't regret having them one bit, I guess what I'm trying to get advice on is how to sort my head out and stop being such an idiot (in the nicest of ways to put it) to live with.

What are you actually arguing about? Real stuff or is it more a build up and blow?
Are you frustrated at your situation or your share of the situation?

Relationship counselling could help you communicate better.

Is he hands on with the DC and household stuff?

The reality is that you need equal leisure time and the SAHP doesn't usually get that during the day when the other one is at work. However the working parent doesn't always realise that.

It sounds as though you’re stressed with two very young children, who can be hard work and demanding. I had mine 18 months apart, at a young age, and it was murderous!

He obviously works hard, so he’s probably tired and stressed as well.

These are quite tough years for anyone, and all you can do is dig in, and work as a team, supporting each other.

Could your mum or his mum help with babysitting sometimes, to give you both some time together, to just be a couple, and not only parents?

If you’re too stressed, then have a word with your GP or health visitor.

But, these years do pass, they get older and a bit more independent.

Yeah my partner is very hands on, he does a lot for us all and I appreciate it from him massively. I think our problem is bickering over little things, I get angry over the smallest things but I think it's due to me being with the babies all day then he comes in and does a minor thing wrong and then I blow! But I hate being that way, and it annoys me I'm like this. I get mad at myself haha!

Yes relationship counselling sounds good but I don't know if my partner would do that if I'm honest.

He's said today he's had enough of me and my anger issues, but we are going to sit and chat tonight about everything. Hopefully we can sort it mutually or I may be a single mum or 2 and that would break me!

You could do counselling on your own. However, you can explain that going together will help make you more accountable for your behaviour.

It sounds like you also need to step back and accept your way is not "right" he can do things differently and that doesn't make them wrong.

My DH used to come home he took over with the DC and I hid in the kitchen in silence to make dinner!!! I needed that time to decompress desperately.