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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

STBXH mysteriously has my password!

9 replies

Earlgrey19 · 28/07/2021 22:06

Background to this, STBXH was guilty, when we lived together, at least once of going deep into my email to read my messages when my email account was easily accessible on family devices, before I changed that. He was also emotionally abusive.

STBXH uses my Netflix account on his iPad, which used to be family iPad. It is automatically signed in. (I could tell him to get his own Netflix but we haven’t separated finances yet and I’m financially vulnerable so haven’t — trying to build income). Anyway tonight he texts me that a message has come up saying my Netflix password was compromised and I should change it. Which should be fine but he NAMED the password (eg if we say the password is ‘goldfish’ he said ‘your goldfish password’. I’m sure he was genuinely concerned about the security issue — he gets extremely anxious about Internet security and is on autistic spectrum. But I asked HOW do you know my password? He said it just popped up on the iPad, a message from Apple about Netflix. I asked him to screenshot it and send as I find this hard to believe. He took a long time to reply and sent it: it didn’t reveal password and he said they must automatically blank it out when you screenshot it. I don’t believe it. Unfortunately it is the same password as my email account and I feel sick that he has very likely been reading all my emails. Obvs I will now change all passwords. But I don’t know how he got it in the first place. It’s a horrible feeling.

OP posts:
SixesAndEights · 28/07/2021 22:08

Did you not change all your passwords when you split up?

RandomMess · 28/07/2021 22:10

Sounds like her installed a key logger or spyware and he could well be reading all your posts on here and everywhere and anything else!

Newnames123 · 28/07/2021 22:11

Often when a password is filled in already with *** you can press show password to see what it is.

And yes he's probably been reading your emails.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 28/07/2021 22:12

random is most likely correct.

BrieAndChilli · 28/07/2021 22:12

If it’s an iPad he can go into settings and there will be a list of all the passwords for anything you have saved on the device.
I assume if he’s using the iPad he knows the code to get into it and it’s that code you need to access all the passwords.

Earlgrey19 · 28/07/2021 22:21

Oh god Shock I am crap with this stuff. Just changing all pwords now…
Thanks

OP posts:
Blingstheway · 28/07/2021 23:41

It would be stored on the iPad under passwords and the iPad would warn you if the password has been compromised.
It also does blank out the password when you take a screen shot.

I actually think he’s being honest with it all. He might not know the password is the same as your email address unless it had previously been logged onto in the iPad and would be saved.

But it is safer to change them all anyway.

Cherrysoup · 28/07/2021 23:44

Google how to check for a keylogger and change your Netflix password! He’s moved out so doesn’t get to use it anymore.

Forstarters · 28/07/2021 23:44

Yeah I get on with my ex extremely well but still changed al my passwords!

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