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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to actually *sleep* with new man!

51 replies

DivorcedAndDelighted · 28/07/2021 16:27

I've had a very nice thing develop with a friend during the last year. The sex is great - it's the sleep that's the problem! Over the last few months we've been spending the whole night together when family situations allow, which is maybe once a week (we see each other at other times too) . But I'm having trouble actually sleeping, and often take ages to get to sleep when sharing a bed with him, or wake up early and struggle to get back to sleep. This comes after a long marriage where for years I'd only shared a bed with my exH or one of my kids, or in recent years slept alone.
I think part of the problem is that I'm too excited, not in a sexual way but maybe emotionally. This chap is not a fidget, and we both enjoy cuddling up and spooning, which is lovely after a physically and emotionally distant exH. But I feel like my whole body is alive and I'm enjoying the touch and the closeness so much, I can't switch off and go to sleep. It's not a sexual thing - it's a whole body sensory thing. I feel very alive and very happy while lying there - I don't mind - even when I wake up at 4am and can't get back to sleep, I just enjoy how lovely it feels, but I am left very tired! We are going on holiday together soon and I'm slightly worried I won't get much sleep. Any suggestions? It's been about 25 years since I had to get used to actually sleeping beside a new person.

OP posts:
Kathe30 · 05/11/2021 07:19

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