I met my partner 5 years ago after an unhappy marriage.
His had been a happy marriage with his childhood sweetheart. She had an affair and left him for another man and has since emigrated overseas taking 2 of their 4 children with her and has remarried with more children.
For the first 2 years of our relationship he struggled to get through a couple of days without mentioning her. Kirsty liked that, Kirsty did this and that etc.
I did remind him regularly that I really didn’t need to know.
Last year for my 50th birthday I booked a break for us, sharing the cost as just wanted to get away. We both have stressful jobs. I didn’t even get a card from him and although I don’t expect anything from anyone was surprised that no effort whatsoever was made. He had been to several events the year before for my friends birthdays where all partners had made a lot of effort. I must add that this father had been very poorly through this time but he was not particularly close to him. He didn’t even shed a tear at his fathers passing. I was incredibly hurt but said nothing.
Our relationship is not bad. He is a good person with generally a kind heart, great around the house, DIY etc but there is little romance. We don’t argue and life is quite peaceful but not exciting.
I recently felt the need to discuss how I was feeling. Several of my friends are divorced also and with new partners and all very happy and enjoying life. I also had a cancer scare and had to go alone for my results. I called him with positive news but he was at work with phone off. It was 5 hours later he called back and said he was too busy !!
During our recent conversation he said he feels numb and cannot explain why. He said he loves me but has gone through so much both as a child and through his marriage that he is finding it difficult to be romantic or even give me a cuddle. I asked him how he would feel if we parted and he said he would be absolutely fine.
I don’t know what to think. He said he definitely wants to stay together and will try and get help.
As I approach later life I just feel very sad that this may be it. We have financial commitments and pets so naturally want things to work but I really questioning things.
Any feedback or points of view would be welcome x