Is my partner autistic?

[Ingloriousbasterd]

We're on holiday and in all honesty, he's been an absolute nightmare. The first two days he was having panic attacks and feeling anxious about being here and the third day had a melt down saying he didn't want to come on this holiday, there's nothing for him to do...he wants to go home. I told him I'd book him a ticket home and I'd stay with the children ..took them for a walk whilst he cooled off and by the time I got back he said he was going to stay with us. We're on day 5 now and he's mentioned going home tomorrow a couple of days earlier, asking me to call family and see if they will get us!!! He's still anxious. I understand missing your own bed but his behaviour just seems weird! I am looking forward to going home and getting back into routine, but it's like he can't cope at all with being away from home. I've had to do all the ordering of food/talking to people because he says he feels uncomfortable doing it (he will if he really has too) He's always been like this but it's really noticeable This week. Any ideas? I considered maybe he has undiagnosed autism because I have family members that have similar traits..

It sounds as if hes stayed because he wants you all to go back.

Tell him he's welcome to go home but you and the kids will be staying until the end. It's their holiday as well and not all about him and his issues.

Nobody can diagnose autism on here, it does sound as if he could do with assessing if he can't cope with life though and actually finding out what the problem is so it can make sense and therefore have strategies put in place.

Have you sat him down and had a serious chat about how he is feeling? Not normal behaviour though and it does sound like anxiety. I’ve been the same in social situations or being out of my depth, never on a family holiday though

I'm so glad to see some sensible comments on this thread!

For those of us who are autistic - and who went through the diagnostic process - these "is [x] autistic" threads and the idea that someone can be diagnosed by random people on a message board are insulting.

The process isn't fast enough? Tough. It's not buying a hamburger; it's going through a rigorous process to see if someone has a neurological condition. If you want fast buy a fortune cookie.

And the fact that in speculating about whether someone is autistic, a great deal of offence can be caused doesn’t matter here either. “Autistic people, especially adults without learning difficulties, deserve all they get because they’re such arseholes to neurotypicals” seems the be the preferred mantra.

Yep. And OP jumped to ask if her partner is autistic despite the fact that the only things she has mentioned point to anxiety.

I know a lot of autism people also suffer anxiety - I am one of them; autism and social anxiety diagnoses, but that doesn't mean someone who displays anxious behaviour is autistic.

It's the go to on mumsnet unfortunately.

How true, @unsureofneighbour.