Caught him cheating

[MouseTrapp]

So my partner of 3 years has been cheating, I just found out. We don't live together and live far enough apart that he had a dating profile with the distance set close enough to his home that none of my single friends would spot him (slightly different area).

He had been acting a bit suspicious lately, being unavailable some evenings even though he didn't have his kids (I have kids too) or claiming depression. I dont know the 'level' of cheating but having an active dating profile is surely proof enough?

I've said very little since confronting him, literally just that I'm hurt and heartbroken. I've ignored his 'protests' such as he's now deleted the app, profile etc, he's sorry, he wants to be with me etc

I'm kind of relieved that he's 'trying' to get me back, as at least I know he placed some value on the relationship to do that . I doubt it will last long, then he will just forget me, he obviously didn't care much for me but I'm at a loss as to what to do next. What do I say, if anything, to make him realise what pain he's caused me?

I have some stuff at his house, but the thought of collecting it makes me feel sick. The thought of never seeing him again/our daily communications etc also makes me feel in terrible panic. Do I ask him to drop off my stuff?

Do I just go silent, block and delete? It all feels so cruel and painful, I loved him and was a very caring and trusting girlfriend, this has really shocked me.

@MouseTrapp

In all honesty OP, I get that a part of you is 'hoping' he'll offer to return your things in person, but that would actually just reopen the wound for you ! It would also give him a real ego boost that he could still 'get you back' ! You don't need either of these things TBH, do you ?

Do not engage with him at all. Ask a friend to contact him to arrange getting your belongings back.

Any communicating with him would be a bad thing for you.

So keep him blocked !

@updownroundandround you're right, I hadn't thought of that...I can block him, and ask a friend to collect my stuff. That way it makes it easier not to have to see him again.

PP you're exactly right, it made no 'sense' for him to cheat when he had a loving, kind, happy girlfriend! Who liked to see him often. He just chose to scupper it for an ego boost. I'm surprised he's been trying to convince me back tbh.

Looking forward to meeting a decent man in the future, one who I can trust!

How are you doing, OP?

@WizardofAus thanks, he's not tried to say anything for a few days now, so guess he's given up. He's blocked but that's easily overriden if he used a friend's phone or whatever. Hopefully my non response has left him sweating over why I'm not messaging him, phoning etc. Or he may just be with another woman.

Looking forward to better times in future, betrayal is horrible.

Well done on remaining strong and not responding to any of his shit messages. You're an absolute legend.

I know you will be feeling horrible, but it's only a temporary feeling. One year from now, you won't even care about this arsehole anymore. Take each and every day as it comes and remain strong. Don't respond. Get your friend to pick up your belongings from his house.

Thinking of you :)