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Relationships

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Original poster

Said I love you during sex

17 replies

Embarrazed · 27/07/2021 21:08

Hi, so I’ve been dating this man for about 6 months. Recently we’ve just gotten so much closer but I think he fears commitment a little bit.

I went out and got a bit drunk and met up with him once my night had finished. He came home and we had sex, whilst we were doing it I just blurted out I love you. He said it back, he said I love you too. Afterwards I just fell asleep but in the morning I was so embarrassed we haven’t had this talk before, and I haven’t spoken about it. He’s been fine with me since but do I need to bring this up? Argh I’m so embarrassed

OP posts:

SilverGlassHare · 27/07/2021 21:09

Why are you embarrassed? Do you not mean it?

Original poster

Embarrazed · 27/07/2021 21:11

I do mean it but it just felt like the wrong time. I also don’t like feeling vulnerable and I’m worried he didn’t mean it when he said it back. He just said it so it wasn’t awkward?

OP posts:

KurtWilde · 27/07/2021 21:12

You said it, he said it back. Now if he hadn't said it back, then that might've been embarrassing, but he did! I'm failing to see the problem here.

Marriedtothesilverfox · 27/07/2021 21:13

Just talk to him

GinLimeandLemonade · 27/07/2021 21:13

I did this the first time I slept with my now DH. I'd not long been out of my first proper relationship and had gotten into the habit of saying it during sex so I said it without thinking 😂 we laughed it off and it was all good (clearly, by the fact we've been together for 12 years now!)

It'll be fine 😊

Original poster

Embarrazed · 27/07/2021 21:14

Because he’s seemed a bit commitment phobic when we first met. I suppose I have issues of being vulnerable. It’s not that I can’t talk to him but rather I’m worried about what the answer will be?

OP posts:

SparklingLime · 27/07/2021 21:18

Why talk about it? That would make it heavier. You said it, he reciprocated… may be he’s not as commitment-wary as you thought?

Original poster

Embarrazed · 27/07/2021 21:19

This is true, maybe just leave it and see how things progress with us

OP posts:

Shurl · 27/07/2021 21:33

Just leave it and don't worry! My friends and I joke that there are two stages of "i love you"s: the drunken/caught up in good sex one and then the real sober one some time later

BuffySummersReportingforSanity · 27/07/2021 21:35

Did this with DH about a month in. We had the awkward "I meant it, did you mean it?" conversation afterwards.

We both meant it. Hence he is now DH 😁

You aren't putting that genie back in the bottle. You have to talk about it.

category12 · 27/07/2021 21:49

I'd put it down to the drink and the heat of the moment tbh. See if he says it sober and not in the middle of sex.

thistimelastweek · 27/07/2021 21:56

Why push it?
You had a really great meeting of bodies and mind. It doesn't need analysing. Just move on quietly and naturally.

tunnocksweesnake · 27/07/2021 22:11

Were you both drunk, or just you?

A drunk mouth speaks a sober mind (or something!)

Does anyone believe that though?

category12 · 27/07/2021 22:21

Nope, in my experience a drunk mouth speaks a lot of drivel

PumpkinKlNG · 28/07/2021 01:34

Well at least he said It back and didn’t ignore you 😣

Sampafie · 28/07/2021 02:25

OP what will he need to do to prove he "meant it when he said it back" TBH it looks like youre just trying to create drama. Youre both too old for that (however old you may be)

Lovelydiscusfish · 28/07/2021 05:05

You both presumably meant it on some level. Personally I would just enjoy that, but not make it till heavy at this stage by having a massive post-mortem about it. “I love you” isn’t a marriage proposal.

And loving someone/not loving them is not a binary state. There are lots of ways of loving someone. Time will tell if you both mean the same by it. And hopefully your love will grow, evolve and strengthen the longer you know each other too….

I told my boyfriend I loved him (accidentally, much as you did) after about 3 months. I thought I meant it - in my way I did - but it is only now that I know what it truly is to love him (it’s the most extreme emotion that I have ever felt towards anyone in my life, excluding my child).

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