Did I judge this incorrectly?

[marshmallowsarenice]

DH, two DC and I are self isolating due to a close contact testing positive. Today I was contacted by track and trace asking if I wanted to be put forward for a trial to do daily testing rather than self isolation. I said yes and will be contacted later on today to see if I am on the trial. DH has not been contacted about this trial.
DH is now upset that I agreed to be considered for it. He thinks we should be in this together and should all self isolate as a team. He thinks I am leaving the rest of the family behind so I can get on with my life for the next nine days while they are stuck at home.
I said that if he had received the call instead of me I would be genuinely happy for him and this is true. I think there's no point all of us being stuck at home for the sake of it if one of us has the chance not to be. Am I wrong to think like this? I can understand DH's point of view but don't agree with it. Am I way off the mark?

Surely your first question was whether it covered everyone in the house, not just you? If not, you do sound pretty selfish.

I think my DH would be miffed that he hadn't been offered it, but he wouldn't begrudge me taking the offer.
And surely, it helps everyone out if one of you can go out to shop etc

@Orf1abc If DH had got the call I'd have been pleased for him that he'd been given the opportunity. I don't agree that 4 people should choose to isolate when only 3 people have to.

I mean i wouldnt be swanning off to the pub and cinema every night or booking a little weekend retreat but surely it'll be a godsend having you able to go out to the shops etc?

Is he worried you'll go back to work / out the house and he'll be on dull time child care?

You got lucky, he didn't. Simple as that. And it's better for all of you that one person can go out if needed. That's teamwork! Is he usually this dog in the manger about things?

@pickingdaisies Yes that's my way of thinking. I tend to think more practically than DH and maybe that's how it's come across as selfish to him. I wouldn't expect him to inconvenience himself just because I was.

I would be going to work, picking things up from the shop and getting the car serviced that I had to rearrange. I wouldn't be going to the pub, seeing friends or even going for a walk because that would be taking it too far.

[quote marshmallowsarenice]@Orf1abc If DH had got the call I'd have been pleased for him that he'd been given the opportunity. I don't agree that 4 people should choose to isolate when only 3 people have to.[/quote]
Your DH sounds like a spoilt child. I'm with you on this.

We’ve had to isolate before and it was very difficult. If either DH or myself had been able to leave the house it would have made that period significantly easier.

@SleepingStandingUp DCs are teens so they can look after themselves.

your dh is being weird and would probably jump at the chance if it was him offered.
Why on earth would he want there to be NOBODY in the house that could nip out for essentials/walk the dog etc

Meh then he's just jealous. Y
And surely the more people doing these trials the better for us all

Is he usually this dog in the manger about things? He can be. I often find my second guessing how he'll react to things. I'm starting to question a lot of stuff about our relationship at the moment tbh.

What if you had turned it down and then they had phoned your DH to make the same offer. At least this way you can still stay in the house if you want to.

@RainbowCrayons He said he would have said no and opted to stay self isolating.

Fair enough but if he had got the call minutes after you it would have been better you hadn't said no. I was thinking of friends I know who have come back from holiday and have each been phoned even though they are in the same house. Just because they only phoned you I wouldn't have assumed that meant they wouldn't then call him and then you really would have been kicking yourself! Even if you take the option to test you can always stay in with him anyway so I don't really get why he is upset. If you are allowed out surely that will be useful rather than going out clubbing etc!

In the words of Mandy Rice Davis, 'Well he would say that, wouldn't he?'

[quote marshmallowsarenice]@RainbowCrayons He said he would have said no and opted to stay self isolating.[/quote]
He's talking bollocks

In the words of Mandy Rice Davis, 'Well he would say that, wouldn't he?' The thing is he would genuinely have said no. He often reacts in an emotional way to things like this.

I have just pointed out that if the trial is confirmed I'll be able to get shopping and meds for his dad who has covid and his mum who is stuck in self isolating too.

This wouldn't defuse the situation, but I'd be very tempted to get a friend to phone up pretending to be track and trace, and offer him the chance to join the trial, just to see what he said..

You’ve been offered the opportunity to take part in an experiment that could benefit the whole country, at no personal risk. Of course you should take part.

Other members of society have taken part in vaccine trials or nursed patients with Covid, pretty small sacrifice for your family.

I hope you take part & thank you for doing so.

[quote marshmallowsarenice]@Orf1abc If DH had got the call I'd have been pleased for him that he'd been given the opportunity. I don't agree that 4 people should choose to isolate when only 3 people have to.[/quote]
He can contact them himself and ask to join the trial, or you can ask on his behalf with his permission.

Yes it's odd that you didn't ask for him at the time but you can now rectify that easily.