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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating after years on my own and adult kids

7 replies

Datingandnoideahowto · 27/07/2021 06:57

I’m a regular. Name changed. This might be long.

I’m in the early stages of dating someone. We have been dating two months and it’s going well so far. He’s funny. We laugh. Similar outlook on things and similar ages with grown up kids.

He’s stayed over twice and the sex was great.

I’ve been single (with a few short dates only) for a very long time because I’d kids at home and didn’t want to date while they were here full time. The youngest has now gone to uni. The kids are all adults and are happy I’m dating. They know I’m dating but haven’t met him or anything yet.

We met through friends so it wasn’t online dating (which I tried last year and was just grim).

He’s really nice and I like him a lot and although I’m not counting my chickens I can see us dating for a good while. Or at least that’s a possibility.

I’ve been on my own for a very long time though and I’m not sure how to Navigate this.

When do I introduce him to my friends? I was out last night with mates and thought afterwards maybe I should have invited him? I didn’t because it was a long over due catch up with friends but I’d like him to meet my friends. How long do we need to be dating to do that?

What about him leaving stuff at my house? I’m not ever wanting to give up my house so I won’t be living with anyone for a long time if ever

When do I introduce him to my kids? Obviously not for a while but I was thinking maybe around Christmas if we are still together?

I liked waking up next to him and I liked sleeping with him in my bed and cuddling so it’s not that I don’t want him here or anything.

My head is in a middle because after 15 years on my own this is so new and different and I don’t want to fuck it up.

OP posts:
Datingandnoideahowto · 27/07/2021 09:41

Hopeful bump (sorry!)

OP posts:
66babe · 27/07/2021 11:12

I would say go with the flow
Don't set too many rules
Just enjoy !!!!

If an occasion warrants a group drink out then invite him ! If it doesn't then leave it

Have fun ... just enjoy every bit of happiness you can

Datingandnoideahowto · 27/07/2021 11:14

I’m quite anxious (can you tell 😂 - I’m medicated for it) and I’m just scared of doing the wrong thing.

Thank you for answering

OP posts:
Grimsknee · 27/07/2021 11:24

Two months isn't all that long. Take your time and enjoy what's happening now - is there any rush to introduce him to friends and kids?

Datingandnoideahowto · 27/07/2021 11:27

No not at all - as I said in my op I’m thinking Christmas for introducing him to kids. Surely that’s not rushing things?

I didn’t even think I should’ve invited him last night til I was home and chatting to him about the night and I wondered should I have asked him along.

OP posts:
OliveToboogie · 27/07/2021 12:56

Congratulations on your relationship. Just does what feels natural and don't force it. There is no one size fits all answer to this question. When you do introduce him keep it simple. Next time you meet for a coffee or a drink invite him along. Good luck x

Datingandnoideahowto · 27/07/2021 13:45

Thanks x

OP posts:
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