I’m in a really bad, what to do next? Desperate

[Indughos]

I’m spiralling a bit.

Anxiety very bad, not slept for days. In a relationship where we see each other every few days and I’m ruining that by being in such a bad place mentally. I feel drained, not eaten properly in days. Finding work lonely and difficult and terrified I will lost my job as I’ve done the bare minimum the last week. House is an absolute tip, rubbish everywhere. Panicking about the future, worrying about the past.

I’m wide awake and just feel terrible. Aside from gp and medication, what can I do? I’m desperate. I don’t know what to do next, the next half hour etc.

Concentrate on your breathing and breathing deep and slow.

Your first priority must be to take some really deep slow breaths to get oxygenated. Then get a proper meal inside you. You won't be able to think straight whilst your blood sugar is so low and you have no fuel to do anything.

Once you are fed and watered, maybe start to tidy up ONE room. The activity will make you feel better physically and give you a more pleasant place to sit. Open the windows and get some air. Maybe go for a short walk or sit in the garden.

Listen to something lighthearted like Radio 4 Extra or reruns of some old comedy shows on Youtube.

Practically, right now, some breathing exercises. Slow breaths.

You make yourself some breakfast, and you sit to eat it.

Then you break things down a bit. Do a bit of housework in one room, so you have a calm space. Maybe when you come home if you're off to work soon.

Work will not fire you for doing the minimum one week, practically it's a lot more expensive and pain in the arsey to recruit , and the minimum isn't failing, it's enough.

Make it your goal today to eat properly.

I feel so bad for you indughos. I think the above suggestions are good. Do you have enough food in the house?

Do you want to talk about your anxiety and what specifically triggers it, and the things which you worry about?

Have you explained it to your partner and does he understand?

I recognise the being messy thing because I do something similar and I think it is linked to my own anxiety. My plan for the living area today is to tackle one category at a time without panicking about the whole thing. First put away my dry washing which is everywhere, empty and put away bags of shopping (non perishables) that have been left, take out the rubbish, clean the pet‘s cage, empty and fill the dishwasher, hoover the carpet. Once I’ve done that it will look better and I am hoping the rest will feel less daunting.

Do you have family or friends who might be able to help?

I have anxiety too. It's awful and at times takes out your life.
Walking outdoors work for me. Really elevates my mood and decreases the anxiety.
I think it works for me as I'm focusing on the surroundings and getting out of my head.
Is there something you enjoy doing like that? For some it's gardening, colouring etc.
Another thing I do but find it harder when the anxiety is high is to do a you tube meditation. Doesn't have to be long but again gives you something to focus on.

As others have said, the first and most important thing you need to do is take care of your immediate needs - food, lowering anxiety, fresh air etc. I know that's easier said than done but small steps! A piece of toast and a cup of tea, deep breaths out the back door, write down ten things you're grateful for. None of these are quick fixes but you are trying to get yourself in a slightly better place, day by day, so you can then tackle the bigger things.
Also, to reach out to friends and talk. Offload and share, you'll soon realise you aren't alone

Oh my love. I’ve been there. If you can please take some holiday time from work.

Secondly, if you feel able, tell someone you trust. Not necessarily your DP if you have concerns there.

I totally agree with the others. Walk walk walk. Borrow a dog if you can… you’ll have no choice! . If your own thoughts are too much right now download some podcasts too x

I’m sorry you feel this way OP.

If you are up to it, I always find a list helpful when overwhelmed.

I’d start with quick short term fixes, then medium. I do long term when less overwhelmed.

Eg

Kitchen - dishes, counters, floor
Bedroom - clothes, change bed.

Seeing it written and crossing them off makes me feel better. If I cannot sleep writing the list helps too.

Can you take so AL?

I hope this isn’t misplaced advice.

Thanks @Dragon50 @Blueuggboots @Girlintheframe @category12 @Leafieee @changeyourname11111 @SStopRaisingHim not sure how to tag separately sorry.

DP has been very kind, we spoke last night and I told him. I usually hide these moments and he was really understanding, said he felt similar sometimes etc. Sent me a link to something to try and sleep. I am now really worried he is going to want to break up. I know it’s anxiety speaking but I feel like I’ve put loads on him. I’m usually very very independent. I like to be the one caring for him, doing things for him etc as it makes me feel like things are ok between us. I’m not used to having to turn to someone like I did last night and I’m worried it’s put him off me.

I’ve not got food in but will try and do that this morning.

The anxiety was triggered by a friend’s health around a week ago. Usually I keep my anxiety in check but it has escalated. I’m thinking about death, worried about the past and future. Feels all consuming.

I’m alone all this week too as I work from home. It’s possible I will see a friend on Thursday but not definite yet

I feel a bit scared about how anxious I am. Gosh that sentence alone sounds very dramatic doesn’t it

Your body is just flooded with cortisol and adrenalin. It will pass. Breathing exercises will help. Activity will help. Walk to the store?

Can you zoom/teams call a colleague for a chat if you're feeling alone? Talking shop may not be the most rewarding, but at least it's contact.

I did an online CBT course last year helped me to control my thoughts/anxiety.

I still work hard at this and regularly say out loud - ‘I can only deal with the here and now’ and try to interrupt thoughts when I’m catastrophising.

I play dance music to make myself active, podcasts to keep my brain focused.

When I start getting overwhelmed I stop watching the news or am careful about who I talk to.

@Indughos

Thanks *@Dragon50* *@Blueuggboots* *@Girlintheframe* *@category12* *@Leafieee* *@changeyourname11111* *@SStopRaisingHim* not sure how to tag separately sorry.

DP has been very kind, we spoke last night and I told him. I usually hide these moments and he was really understanding, said he felt similar sometimes etc. Sent me a link to something to try and sleep. I am now really worried he is going to want to break up. I know it’s anxiety speaking but I feel like I’ve put loads on him. I’m usually very very independent. I like to be the one caring for him, doing things for him etc as it makes me feel like things are ok between us. I’m not used to having to turn to someone like I did last night and I’m worried it’s put him off me.

I’ve not got food in but will try and do that this morning.

The anxiety was triggered by a friend’s health around a week ago. Usually I keep my anxiety in check but it has escalated. I’m thinking about death, worried about the past and future. Feels all consuming.

I’m alone all this week too as I work from home. It’s possible I will see a friend on Thursday but not definite yet

I feel a bit scared about how anxious I am. Gosh that sentence alone sounds very dramatic doesn’t it

I posted something very similar last night, have a look at www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/talking-therapy-and-counselling/how-to-find-a-therapist/

But hope you get things under control, it's a horrible feeling and something that's so hard to explain, I commend you and your DP for getting it out in the open, I'm sure they'll be okay with everything, it's not something that can just be fixed overnight and they should understand that.

It will work itself out, don't worry

I feel a bit scared about how anxious I am. Gosh that sentence alone sounds very dramatic doesn’t it blush

Been there! It’s all consuming and I used to think I couldn’t remember how I felt pre anxiety.

A week alone with little on is not ideal. Could you get something planned each day? Nothing major. Maybe gardening Monday, walk somewhere new Tuesday, supermarket Wednesday…. I might be projecting but I think too much time being isolated caused me the spiral and took recovering longer.

You’re not alone

And it’s awesome that you shared this with your DP. He sounds like a good egg x

Ring your GP and ask do beta blockers. It'll stop the physical effects you're feeling quite quickly.

Then you can cope with thoughts better. There's nothing wrong with meds.