Not even 8 months

[JonathonCreeksAnorak]

I'm not sure why I'm doing this. Maybe it's cathartic. Maybe it's so others can see the signs. I really don't know.
8 months ago (to the day) I had my first day with J. Lovely, kind, funny, solvent etc. No red flags. He moved in with me and my children 3 months later. And something I will always regret.

He is insecure, starts every relationship with distrust and trust is earned. He then becomes abusive, little by little. He used to look at me with love, and within weeks I'm already wondering where and why that look has gone. He's critical, abusive and gaslighting. Within 2 months of him moving in I hardly recognise myself and I'm walking on eggshells, wondering what mood he will be in. 6 months in I call the police. And I still let him back. After that he bugs my house, records my every move. And then last week he gets drunk and starts on my children. The end. He moved out at the weekend. He wouldn't go at first, said he would tell the police I had pulled a knife on him. I gathered my friends and children's dad together and he moved out on Sunday. I know I'm a total and utter idiot. And I've still got many bruises (cos I've glossed over many details) but I'm so relieved and thoroughly loving my children, home and peace x

Thanks Everyone. I know, and I totally accept all the blame that lands at my door. No one beats me up him moving in after 3 months more than me. I truly do appreciate everyone's replies, genuinely.

Please get your kids access to therapy if at all possible.

And really, consider whether it’s necessary to ever move another man into your home. They have been through enough. You can still have an active social life and even a committed relationship without actually merging households.

Hugs well done for getting him out, you’re very courageous, now enjoy the rest of your life.

I met a good looking charming man once, he bowled me over and I moved in with him after 6 weeks - love at first sight, I told my concerned family and friends. Neither of us had children. Within another 6 weeks, I was his personal punchbag when he was annoyed about something, I realised he was a very heavy drinker, and the end came when he smacked me over the head with a pewter pint pot, fracturing my skull.

Lesson learned the hard way. Don’t beat yourself up about moving him in too quickly, congratulate yourself for realising his toxicity and getting shot of him. Well done.

But when they are pushy are pursue you and don't stop it is so bloody hard

Sending you good wishes