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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do I give up for good?

3 replies

Itsnotalovebite · 26/07/2021 21:11

I was seeing a man for a few months and it was great but he quietened off a lot and claimed he was busy, yet made time for other people and left me on read. He still came to see me and would text occasionally but it was clear I was no longer a priority. I sent him a long text that I’m not putting up with it anymore and we need to end it, he was upset and said he will try harder so I gave him a second chance. He was great the first week making lots of effort, and I finally felt reassured as he knew I would walk for good if he made me feel that way again.
Today he hasn’t made any effort, he left me on read yet he is online. I know he is entitled to do other things and not speak to me constantly but it feels like a lack of respect that he hasn’t even asked how I am or how was my day it’s now 9pm and I know he will be at home. My head tells me to not over react just yet and keep trying as he has really tried hard this week, but my instincts are telling me he will never change and I need to stop this now before he breaks my heart again. Any advice that isn’t a simple ‘dump him’, like should I keep trying and is it normal for texts to drop after time and I’m just worrying for nothing?

OP posts:
alwaysmovingforwards · 26/07/2021 21:22

Put simply, either he needs to change, you need to change, or you’re not quite compatible and someone’s going to get bent out of shape.

SarahBellam · 26/07/2021 21:36

That sounds like awful hard work, having to text someone all the time. It would drive me nuts. OP lots of people don’t like texting all the time. My DP has dyslexia and it’s torture for him. It sounds like you have a mismatch in communication styles. If he’s still fine when you meet up I wouldn’t worry about it.

smugsparkle · 26/07/2021 21:55

you said you wont be putting up with it anymore in your message to him
so dont
back off from him
get on with your life.
he's not trying very hard anymore. it only takes 2 seconds to send a message.
i would now leave it and get on with other stuff
oh and if he does eventually message, leave them on read.

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