Children's dad breaking arrangements

[Tinkerbellanne]

Hi everyone. I'm finding it hard to co parent with the father of our 2 children. We have a 4 and 6 year old. We have been separated 14 months.
For the first 13 months he has been picking and choosing whenever he wants to see his children, days, nights, weekends, couple of hours here and there. It got to the point I couldn't work and so we went to mediation.
We have had in place for the last 4 weeks an agreement where he picks them up on Friday morning, has then Friday and Saturday nights and I have them back at 5 on Sunday so I can work. CSA has now dropped from £77 to £55 which I was happy with as they get to see their dad but I have found out he has been leaving them with his girlfriend while he's at work and goes shopping to make up his money now he pays me less. He drops them off late also. The children sleep in his girlfriends bed while him and his girlfriend sleep on the air bed downstairs. My ex hasn't been taking them to their swimming lessons on a Sunday either even though I am paying for them.
His girlfriend has 2 children also so there is 6 of them altogether and they take it in turns to put 1 child in the boot of the car to not have to take 2 cars when they go out.
My children always come back with sore bottoms because they are embarrassed to ask for a bit of help with the toilet when need be so they sit in a mess on occasions. He doesn't read or do their homework and tbh I'm sick and tired of it. He promised the children would sleep at his mum's house where I know they are round the corner, local and safe but he has left them round his girlfriend again. I have told him I am cutting contact because he isn't spending time with them.
I messaged his mum and said if you would like to pop in and see them at any time you are welcome. But she has messaged back saying if you won't let my son see them then she doesn't want to see them. I was shocked.. any advice if anyone has experience something like this? Am I being unfair?

He puts one of the children in the car boot?? Sorry I'm just processing that before anything else.

I know. All he cares about is money and him and his girlfriend take it in turns to put each of her son's in the boot to save taking 2 cars and I'm so worried they will do it to my children

The point of contact is that he has contact with his children. Not dump them with someone else.
The safety element of a child in the boot?!
His mom is trying a guilt trip... don’t rise to it

Thanks for the reply. Just needed to know that I wasn't being unfair about this situation

Putting a child in the boot of a car is a police and social services matter IMO. That is really awful. Never mind the rest. You need to report it and stop contact. As for his mother, she sounds dreadful you should leave her out of the picture.

Stop the contact. Going forward I would look into formalising all contact arrangements via the courts seeing as your ex is both this untrustworthy and unreliable. If he wants to see them he can do so via a contact centre. As for them putting a child in the boot there are no words. All he indeed cares about is the money. He’s probably thrilled that he is paying you less maintenance.

His mothers loyalty is to her son so was sadly not all that surprised to read her reaction. The rotten apple that is your ex did not fall far from the rotten tree.

I second what Atilla said. Stop contact, let him go through the courts if he wants to see them, write down your safety concerns and insist on a visitation centre until he can prove himself to be responsible. Forget his mum, it's her loss in the end. I'd even go as far as to say report their irresponsible behaviour to 101 and social services tbh.