How do I leave?

[takingtheduvet]

Own a house together, I have two DCs and he has none. Not married. He's an abusive arsehole and I need to leave.

I have an ok job, but don't earn enough to rent somewhere on my own, and won't be entitled to help as I own half a house. He has told me he will not leave the house, nor will he sell it. My DCs are in local schools, my childminder is also local. I'll also struggle to rent as I have much loved pets.

I genuinely don't know what to do. He won't go, and can be very nasty and intimidating. He's never been physical with me, but likes to scream abuse, block my exits, punch doors, kick things...

I just can't take it anymore, he's spent the entire weekend losing his shit because he didn't like my face when I answered a question yesterday. I can't do anything right, ever, and I'm honestly starting to think there might be something wrong with him based on the absolute ridiculous shit that he comes out with.

I'm feeling brave enough to write this but in all honesty I'm not sure I'll respond in case he sees, but anyone who can offer any advice or the kick up the arse I need, please know I will read it! I found myself wishing I lived somewhere where the neighbours would call the police after hearing him going off at me, but in all honesty I think they're just used to hearing it.

To put it into perspective, there has been one Monday in 2021 where he has been speaking to me. One. How do I get out?

Hey @takingtheduvet sorry no advice but I'm in the same situation re partner refusing to go. Pm me if you like, we can support one another

Contact your council housing department and your local DV services, both of which will be on your council website. Tell them your situation and ask what help they can offer.

The ideal scenario is an occupation order to get him out of the house. You can contact the NCDV and ask them about it. You can apply for one yourself on the Gov website.

You can contact Shelter who can also give you housing advice. Also check out their website as it has advice. Rights of Women can give you legal advice about the house if Shelter can't. You could look into applying to the courts for an order of sale, which will allow you to gain the right to sell if you’re successful but you need to speak to a solicitor about that.

You need to speak to Women's Aid, get a solicitor, and call the police every single time he gets violent, and screaming in your face and threatening you is violence.

Who’s name is on the house? Do you own it together?

@username18702

Contact your council housing department and your local DV services, both of which will be on your council website. Tell them your situation and ask what help they can offer.

The ideal scenario is an occupation order to get him out of the house. You can contact the NCDV and ask them about it. You can apply for one yourself on the Gov website.

You can contact Shelter who can also give you housing advice. Also check out their website as it has advice. Rights of Women can give you legal advice about the house if Shelter can't. You could look into applying to the courts for an order of sale, which will allow you to gain the right to sell if you’re successful but you need to speak to a solicitor about that.

This. Go to the police and show them your post. Women's Aid. I had similar.