Have you read this book? “How To Do The Work” by Nicole LaPera

[SimonedeBeauvoirscat]

Hello all. Am not sure if this is the right forum but wasn’t sure where to put it. Anyway, this is not an advert! But I wanted to see if anyone else has come across this book at all, and did it help you?

I have recently read it and found it SO revelatory - both in terms of helping me to understand why I react to some things in the way I do, and what is driving other people.

I’d be really interested in chatting about her method and the points she makes, particularly about how early childhood shapes our behaviour and how we interpret the world. I’m a little bit more sceptical about some of the mind-body stuff but I do think she is right that we can experience past trauma physically and that activities like the meditation part of yoga are a way of accessing and processing that repressed emotion.

Anyone?

Yes, I actually think it helped me as much as therapy. And I have read a lot of self help type books. I have a lot more understanding now of when and why my nervous system is activated.

I do keep meaning to start journaling but must admit that is something I have always cringed at!

Oh yay am so glad to find someone else who has read it! The practical exercises really reinforced the point that it’s a continual process you have to work at, for me.

No but I've seen it and thought it looked great! Maybe I should read it...could we suggest a mumsnet book club on it if that's good?

@hellotesting123123 I would say give it a go … not sure what’s involved in doing an MN book club, how does that work?

Oh is this the holistic psychologist? I used to follow her on Instagram and wondered why she didn't write a book as she was incredibly insightful. Her posts really helped me when I was struggling to adapt to new motherhood and all the feelings it brought up from my own childhood. Off to re-follow and have a look thanks OP!

I haven’t read it. I was put off because I read an interview with her and she deliberately cut off contact with her family for some time. That seemed like a harsh response to me - but then I have no idea what her family did, so the NC may have been quite appropriate.

@FortVictoria she talks about why she did that and her family dynamics in the book. She is now back in touch with them (and her mother died recently, after they were back in contact, so I’m sure she’s glad she did). As I’m sure the Stately Homes thread here can tell you, there are plenty of reasons why someone chooses to do that, either temporarily or permanently. I think NLP would probably say something like: it can be hard to understand and analyse the emotions your family trigger in you when you’re right in the middle of experiencing them. Sometimes some distance can help clear your head.

@Recessed - yes her Insta was how I first found her too. I really love her bite sized snippets of wisdom. I’m not much of a self help person, it’s just not my genre of reading at all, but her book really got to me.

I am up for a book club with it too. Started with a friend but life got in the way .....

Looks good

What is her biggest message?

As the book blurb says, ‘you’re not broken, it’s not too late, you don’t have to live with it and you can heal yourself’.

Bumping this in case anyone else fancies a chat about it!

Interesting I may give it a read

I hadn’t heard of the book until now but I’m going to get a copy. I think it’s just what I need in my life right now. Thank you for the post :)

You’re welcome @Watchingyouwazowski - do come back and let us know what you make of it! Hope it is useful for you.

@SimonedeBeauvoirscat
Book is ordered! I’ll return in the future with my findings!

Not heard of this book - sounds like it might useful for DH, he definitely has, and acknowledges he has, negative behaviours stemming from his upbringing.

@Echobelly you could perhaps direct him to NLP’s Instagram feed? If some of what she says resonates with him then maybe he’ll try the book? She is called the Holistic Psychologist on there.

Sounds really interesting.