My husband (20+ years) has been paying for live cam girls, porn etc lies, covering up etc.
He is saying he is sorry, deleted accounts, want a chance to fix things and make thing work blah blah blah...
It all raw, I'm still finding out the full extent and don't know if I know everything yet. He says I do but obviously he is a liar.
Practical advice - we have kids, one with extra needs. We both work ft.
Do I get him to leave? Do I leave? This has been going on for weeks and still under one roof but separately and I'm keeping my distance.
My first thing is, he screwed up he needs to leave but I know you will also understand that being a mum, working ft and now dealing with heartbreak is so hard. Not that I want to leave but I also know I need time to deal with what he has done with out cooking, cleaning, laundry, fake being happy for the kids etc. I also know I have trust issues now, what if he leaves I would be thinking he is cheating or upto no good. He wants another chance to work things out, but I know my brain will be thinking the worst if I ask him to leave (I know it's not rational, I'm all over the place just now)
We also can afford 2 houses, I don't know if I should see a lawyer or something. Neither of us have a place to go apart from parents but both sets older, don't keep well and are old school where divorce is embarrassing.
What do I tell the kids? How will they cope?
All our families and couple friends are still together, no separation or divorce... So I actually have zero knowledge of what to do especially in these early days. Where Im not ready to make a permanent decision yet (please don't judge me for that) I always thought I was strong and wouldnt put up with shitty behaviour like this. Turns out I'm thinking about the kids, the families, am I overreacting, can I forgive, can we ever get our marriage back on track... I'm looking for advice on the practical side of things, or anyone who has been through similar. Thanks