Me and my husband have a 1.5 year old and another on the way..our first has always been a very bad sleeper so I still cosleep part way through most nights and husband can’t sleep with toddler in bed so sleeps in another room. I wouldn’t think it was a big deal sleeping in separate rooms temporarily if we spent more evenings together and had sex in the early part of the evening when we do have the chance.
However..we spend most evenings apart. We’re both quite introverted by nature and need alone time to recharge. I think after a busy day working or with our daughter we both just want to go off and do our own thing and have some quiet but I think the balance is a bit wrong at the moment as we barely spend any time together and when we do I don’t feel close or connected anymore. If we do even watch a film together or something my husbands on his phone all night playing games so we’re not even sharing the same tv programme. He plays online games on Xbox and I can tell even when I suggest spending time together he’s dying to get away and do his own thing.
We also have barely had sex since we had our daughter...various reasons such as extreme sleep deprivation as daughter woke hourly for ages and ages due to cows milk allergy we later found. I then got pregnant again after 8 months and had a miscarriage..my husband just doesn’t like sex when I’m pregnant he mentally can’t get past there being a baby right there. Then got pregnant again with current baby so it’s been a lot of unsexy things going on to impact it!
Is this just normal when you have young kids or sound like deeper problems. I feel very lonely and not connected to him...he’s a good man though I just feel like we’ve lost our way. My mum has started babysitting once a week so we’ve just started to have date nights so that should hopefully help but I just feel so far apart from him. I know he can’t help not finding pregnancy sexy but I think I feel quite rejected by him and resentful about it...it feels like a long time not to have any intimacy.