I got out of a rubbish horrid marriage over 5 years ago. But it has taken that long to relocate and move and lots and lots of court.
After a year or so I met a 'nice man' that all my friends encouraged me to date -he had a 'mad' ex wife but everyone loved him -I held my ground and wasn't ready and he essentially groomed me. Friends yeh? and so on. After 18 months of friendship we became a relationship. I had massive online abuse from his ex calling me a whore etc We lasted 4 months -until his ex wife contacted me and gave me proof that he was still trying to get back with her and using me to make her jealous (voice recording so no doubt). I finished it that day. I'm 2 years on. Single for over two years. I have two kids.
I would love a relationship. But my ex married me as no one else was interested in him -and he had never had a relationship until me at aged 40. It was a horrid marriage -he played a part of a loving husband and boyfriend right up to children -and then showed himself and the marriage ended.
I have recently had two men ask me out -one lovely nerd guy never had a second date with anyone age same as me (he wants children -not for me I'm past that age now). It reminds me of the ex except he is witty and kind.
One is ten years younger but likes older women and was a friend but wants to try dating me. I just feel ick -like he wants to date me as I'm older than him (10 years older) he says it's his type and I'm ick about it.
I had abusive parents. I've done a lot of counselling. My self esteem is better. I won't find a boyfriend by refuses dates will I?
Anyone suggests a date to me -I turn them down -as I'm looking for a fault and why it won't work.
I don't want to be alone and yet I'm happy on my own.
Has anyone else been like this and what did you do?
Am I just not ready? I know why I want a relationship and they match my nerd friend -but I'm also thinking -how can you not get a girlfriend? What's wrong with you -before we have even been for coffee.