Making a mistake second time round!

[greeneyedgirl]

Ok,here goes. I broke up with my ex a while ago, didn't date for a very long time, but I was very much in love with him when he suddenly ended it, which devastated me. I was pretty badly hurt, but did get over it after a while.

Ok fast forward to now, I have started "seeing" him again and I know I am a fool. I just cannot seem to get him out of my system as the attraction is so strong! At 33 I should know better, but I guess i don't. The problem is I think he is probably seeing someone else...no evidence, just intution. I know I should just stop this in it's tracks, but I am terrified of feeling like I did before. I seem to be useless wth men and I just feel like not bothering anymore!

stop stop stop! how can you be attracted to someone who clearly thinks you are no more than a mattress? look at what he has done to you.

do you have a problem with self-esteem? you know you are damaging yourself. Stop it! (((hug)))

Geeneyedgirl - It's such a rubbish situation to be in but for what its worth I felt the same way about a man for ages. I thought about him constantly and could not get him out of my head. He could have done anything and I would have gone running......I eventually got him out of my system and I am now with someone who really loves me and respects me......and it is a million times better than what it was ever like before....try and hang out for someone who will treat you how you deserved to be treated!!

i have a different story. i am back with my ex after a six year gap and i have never been happier. he treats me like a queen and loves and respects me as well as knowing who i am and where i come from. it may not work but i am glad for any minute and i wouldnt give it back. it took a long time for me to trust him abut slowly it is returning and our friendship has seen us through the worst of it. sometimes it can work. sometimes it doesnt. i found myself "intuitively" thinking alsorts thanks to insecurity, fear and regret. i am glad i was wrong. good luck and trust yourself but without evidence dont be too qiuick to jump.

I hope everything will be alright prettyfly1, but I try not to contact him cos i can't bear chasing, so I have to wait...and wait..and wait sometimes for a communication. Other times he contacts me frequently, it drives me mad....but i do know that alot of men are like that.

I have no evidence he is also seeing someone else. I know that he is not in a "proper" relationship with anyone as he is very intense in that sort of situation and he doesn't seem like that. I guess I will wait it out a little longer, silly girl that I am.

its not silly babe - i felt like that till recently then i sat him down and told him exactly how i felt about it (after a number of glasses of wine for courage) and we have been a lot better since. he tries harder and i am learning to trust him. second time around you have to work harder. like i said it might work and it might not but you have that issue in all new relationships its just how much you want to put in.

When we are together he is lovely, but there are other issues that I can't go into on here (he has spied on me before and i don't wish to divulge certain things).

The thing is, it is not just him, most of the blokes I have met are not interested in me, they are just interested in sex. I am beginning to despair of ever finding a normal nice bloke! I am not unattractive, but I guess I am not a good catch as I currently am living with my parents. What am I doing wrong?

Do you have children?

I think you do have self esteem issues - just because you are living with your parents doesn't mean you aren't a good catch!

You deserve better.

But I think you know that.

You just need the confidence to get rid of him and go out there and find it!

Thanks Baffy, I really know you are right, because every time I think of him I hurt! I guess he just couldnt care less. I am going to have to be brave, like ripping off a plaster, it'll be sore, but I'll get over it!

Thanks ladies!