OLD and Covid Vaccination

[Sparklfairy]

I'm just getting back into OLD and whether people are vaccinated or not seems to be a polarising topic that is making me uncomfortable.

I'm vaccinated and tbh I'm not bothered at this stage whether my date is or not. We're only having drinks/dinner.

I've come across profiles that are angrily saying 'stay away with your poisoned vaccine' and other such delights.

I even went on a date recently with a man who screwed up his face and started to rant about vaccines but I managed to swiftly change the subject. Tbf he was an argumentative arse anyway, in one date managed to demand my opinion on both Brexit and Meghan Markle and mansplain why I was wrong on both counts

I don't really want to disclose my 'status' either way to a stranger tbh, but once the question is asked, avoiding the answer seems combative. Just as the done thing is to avoid topics like politics and religion at dinner parties (!), I just don't want a heated debate either way.

I know the short answer is if it's problematic with someone I'm talking to then just to move on, but it seems a shame (?) that it's reducing an already scant pool of prospects

It just feels like a bit of a minefield if asked the question. If I say yes then they often sneer because they haven't. If I refuse to answer as tbf it's personal info then I'm looking awkward. But I really would prefer just to avoid the subject altogether. Has anyone else come across this? How would you/are you handling it?

[Sparklfairy]

Of course you're entitled to know and make a decision accordingly!

This is the thing I'm coming up against though @Rozziie. I'm not at the stage of sleeping with or even kissing anybody yet. Yet the question comes up before we've even met and can be met with such polarising reactions. It's either 'the vaccine is a hoax' camp or the 'phew so glad you've been vaccinated and not a crazy anti vaxxer rant rant rant' and the whole thing is just a turn off. I'd rather not talk about it before we've even bloody met. You don't discuss getting an STD check until it's actually on the cards... so a drink where you're sitting outside (which we would be) across a table from each other is no real threat.

In any case, I have been vaccinated but after seeing how divisive the subject is I'd rather not disclose this medical info to total strangers but then... could be shooting myself in the foot completely.

[user1481840227]

@rantymcrantface66

You got vaccinated against swine flu?

What was OLD in 2009? A different time.

No I've never been vaccinated against any flu until this year but yes there was a swine flu vaccine produced and rolled out at the time.

OLD has been around since the mid 90's but by 2009 most of the main ones such as Plenty of fish were already established

I was offered the swine flu jab because I was pregnant, I refused it...as far as I remember at the time it was only offered to pregnant women or people with asthma etc. (I'm not in the UK but I don't think you had a general roll out either) There was no general rollout so no one else was expected to get it or stay in their homes or do anything else to protect the vulnerable apart from sanitising their hands and not at the same level as it is now.

I believe it was added to the influenza jab but again most people don't get that, including some people who work with the vulnerable and elderly.

[user1481840227]

[quote Sparklfairy]@user1481840227 spot on. I think that polarisation will get worse too because who wins? A person's right to know if someone is vaccinated or a person's right to privacy?[/quote]
You do have a right to privacy when it comes to online dating. you don't have to tell them anything!

It's the passports etc that are going to cause a privacy issue, because you will be expected to provide medical information to go to certain venues etc!

[user1481840227]

@Sparklfairy

Of course you're entitled to know and make a decision accordingly!

This is the thing I'm coming up against though *@Rozziie*. I'm not at the stage of sleeping with or even kissing anybody yet. Yet the question comes up before we've even met and can be met with such polarising reactions. It's either 'the vaccine is a hoax' camp or the 'phew so glad you've been vaccinated and not a crazy anti vaxxer rant rant rant' and the whole thing is just a turn off. I'd rather not talk about it before we've even bloody met. You don't discuss getting an STD check until it's actually on the cards... so a drink where you're sitting outside (which we would be) across a table from each other is no real threat.

In any case, I have been vaccinated but after seeing how divisive the subject is I'd rather not disclose this medical info to total strangers but then... could be shooting myself in the foot completely.

But when you're dating or looking for people to date you are interacting with people who obviously do want to know in advance, and you can't control what other people feel is important or not!

To them your response could be a dealbreaker so why would they want to meet you if your stance on it is a dealbreaker for them?

[Sparklfairy]

@user1481840227 no I get that, that's the dilemma. If you'd asked me a week ago would you tell people then I'd have said of course... but honestly the whole drama and judgements and just general headache.

Obviously on an individual basis it's a bit different. a couple of months ago I met a level headed guy and before we met he said, "right, safety first haha, I've got some LFTs here, do you want me to take one, happy to, my sister's got a newborn, don't want to catch it etc etc." Obviously I'd be happy to say I'm vaccinated and would take a LFT now. BUT I'm getting a lot of 'are you vaccinated' with no background. Like it's a test question iyswim? And even when I've given the 'right' answer it's set off the ranty ones. It's just tiring I guess.

[newnortherner111]

At least you find out some of the unsuitable men quickly, before it is too late.

[DilysPrice]

I think it’s a timesaver.
They say “are you vaccinated?” You say “yes”

They say either “oh that’s good - I’m sorry to have asked such a personal question but I volunteer every week with orphaned kittens with leukaemia and I’d like to minimise my transmission risk” in which case you go ahead.

Or they say “fuck off then, I’m not shagging any microchipped CIA spy”/“oh good, because I’d never date an evil soulless granny-murdering bitch” in which case you block and move on and you’ve saved yourself a bad date.

[Rozziie]

@Sparklfairy There actually is a covid risk from sitting across from each other outside. I know quite a few people who got covid this way in the past few weeks. The Delta variant is far more transmissible than the previous variant, so I will not be meeting up with anyone who is unvaccinated. Anyone who thinks it's none of my business, I frankly consider quite a selfish idiot, because of course my health is my business. Viruses don't care about privacy, and sorry but it's not the same as an STI check. You're not going to get chlamydia from sitting across from someone in a pub, but you might well get covid. They're free not to want to say if they're vaccinated, I'm free to decide I'm not interested.

[Sparklfairy]

@Rozziie I suppose it's a case of whether you ask or demand to know rudely, which is what I've been getting a lot.

[sloutside]

Exactly, just swipe left. I also don't swipe right on anyone having the vaccine badge or wearing a mask! Wearing a mask on a profile pic is like a sunglasses pic, what's the point?

I swipe left on mask wearers too. What point are they trying to make?
Whoopee doo - you're wearing a mask - aren't you just soooo socially responsible. Bin.

And I say that as someone who has always worn her mask without any fuss and bother, everywhere I have had to. And also vaccinated.

[layladomino]

I think anyone who asks at such an early stage is one to avoid, as it clearly matters heaps to them, and it doesn't to you.

[Justa47]

@Sparklfairy

If they are an anti vaccine person it’s simple.
Don’t date them.
Why would you want to date a selfish stupid ignorance idiot?

[Sparklfairy]

@Justa47 I don't, obviously It's just become such a horribly loaded question and when you've been merrily chatting and suddenly 'have you had the vaccine?' with zero context comes up I just think 'Oh shit, which way is this one going to go...'

[user1481840227]

[quote Justa47]@Sparklfairy

If they are an anti vaccine person it’s simple.
Don’t date them.
Why would you want to date a selfish stupid ignorance idiot?[/quote]
There's nothing selfish, stupid or ignorant about being cautious about taking a vaccine that has no long term data yet.
The arrogance of you to assume that your choice is the correct choice!!

[user1481840227]

[quote Sparklfairy]@Justa47 I don't, obviously It's just become such a horribly loaded question and when you've been merrily chatting and suddenly 'have you had the vaccine?' with zero context comes up I just think 'Oh shit, which way is this one going to go...'[/quote]
If you obviously don't want to date them then why the hell wouldn't you want to know straight away which camp they fell into, then you avoid wasting their time and your own!

[CrouchEndTiger12]

There's nothing selfish, stupid or ignorant about being cautious about taking a vaccine that has no long term data yet.

It's funny people aren't cautious about drinking, junk food and smoking.

The long term data is abundantly clear that all if these things are harmful to health. More slowly than covid of course.

[ragged]

I wonder why you encounter so many anti-vaxxers, given the enthusiastic uptake in UK by adults. There must be some "anti-vax" demographic in your profile that makes the algorithm match you to such folk. Plus the pushy Markle - Brexit guy. Somehow you're attracting people with strong opinions.

I guess "No politics, religion or vaccine status discussion before the 3rd date" is a good policy to implement. Could add that to your profile afaik. Actually put something in your profile that you appreciate tolerance on these issues so not a match for people who have entrenched opinions either way.

[Sparklfairy]

@ragged good idea re my profile. I'm not sure why I'm attracting such strong opinions, apart from maybe the stronger personalities are standing out and getting to a date faster. I am talking to quite a few people some of which a bit more low key and not in such a rush to meet etc.

It tends to be men around 30 that are the anti vaxxers. I also live in an area which is known for, shall we say, political opinions that are unpopular on mn. There are also a lot of ignorant people who can unfortunately vote and whose main hobby is being a keyboard warrior sad really.

[user1481840227]

@CrouchEndTiger12

There's nothing selfish, stupid or ignorant about being cautious about taking a vaccine that has no long term data yet.

It's funny people aren't cautious about drinking, junk food and smoking.

The long term data is abundantly clear that all if these things are harmful to health. More slowly than covid of course.

Well plenty are cautious about those things, inactivity is another incredibly harmful thing which is just as bad as smoking or obesity but rarely talked about!

I've also noticed that many people I know who are not getting vaccinated are extremely health conscious.

There's a few who drink and do drugs and don't look after themselves so there's definitely a mix in the people who are refusing it and there isn't one stereotypical group who are refusing!

[EBearhug]

If some is inactive or obese or smokes, it's unlikely to harm me (except possibly second-hand smoke, and I would rather not date a smoker.) If they have covid and we meet, they might. So it's not quite the same.

I think it's a useful filter, to get rid of the nutters early on. There are plenty of those in OLD, mind you.

[user1481840227]

@EBearhug
Not being vaccinated doesn't mean they have covid!
You could meet a vaccinated person and they could have covid and give it to you!

[EBearhug]

Yes, I know. But if they're obese, you won't catch that from them.

[Sparklfairy]

Well I've been talking to a guy who seems relatively sane and we've arranged a date for monday. Tomorrow, in the interests of being an adult, I should probably broach the subject just in case it sends him off on one and I don't have to waste my time It'll be something like, 'Hopefully the pub won't be too rammed but they have a lovely beer garden and I'm vaccinated anyway' ...

[user1481840227]

@EBearhug

Yes, I know. But if they're obese, you won't catch that from them.

I wasn't the one who brought those up in the first place though, I was responding to the previous poster who had said It's funny people aren't cautious about drinking, junk food and smoking

Obviously you can't catch obesity from someone.

In a pandemic though anyone who dates is going to be at risk of catching covid, and you can catch it from a vaccinated person, so really if someone is massively concerned about minimising their own risk the more important considerations should be about the other persons social life etc....for example some people party every weekend and might have been in Wembley and stuff like that, they could be just back from holiday, they might be vaccinated but they would be high risk.

I'm not vaccinated but my contacts are still at an absolute minimum so there would be far less chance of catching it from me!!

[Sonarl]

I'd be using this as a handy filter. Would you really want to be in a relationship with a mansplaining arse that's succeptible to conspiracy theories?