DP’s new Facebook friend is a teenage girl… Am I overreacting?

[ThePinkBush]

DP (33) and I have been together 7 years. We have two DC and I have a teen DC from previous relationship. He has never given me any reason to doubt him or suspect infidelity. He often complains that we don’t have enough sex and that I don’t seem interested in him though.

Today a ‘person I might know’ popped up on facebook. A blonde teenage girl who lives and works 10 minutes away from our house and happens to be friends with DP..

DP said they had a mutual friend which turned out to be a lie. He then turned it round on me saying I have male friends I haven’t seen since school and finally decided she’d requested him and he didn’t know her. (No idea why she would randomly request him, seems odd.)

I then find two youngish looking women he’s ‘following’ in the nearest city. He claims he’s never seen them before in his life 🤨.

He’s out at the moment and I’m just confused and feeling quite sick. Is this serious?

He has deleted her now

Sounds like a tall tale.

He sounds creepy.

Yup. He's a creep

Inappropriate. Not many men i know would accept a friend request from a teen they weren't related to.
Why has he deleted her, is it because you found out?

I have male friends I haven’t seen since school

Yeah you knew them at school and they're the sane and as you.

He doesn't know these young women and they're significantly younger than him.

He was really scraping the barrel for a defence wasn't he.

Ugh. Yes, he's a creep.

i agree it is inappropriate op.

*same age as you

Yep - a creep

Is this the kind of thing people end a relationship over?

I worked out her age (19) by clicking on her about section which had her date of birth.

I sound like a teenager myself with all this talk of Facebook, a bit embarrassing.

Does Facebook not send you friend suggestions if you liked a local cake shop or similar service for example, it would send others who liked it too?
Some people just accept all the friend 'suggestions' because they are approval seekers or don't understand social media.

I wouldn't like it at all, she's a child compared to him.

Yuck. How sleazy.

Something very wrong there.

Sorry but there is no innocent reason he had these ‘friends’. Even if nothing has happened in real life, it’s most likely down to lack of opportunities rather than him choosing to behave appropriately. Also concerning that you describe one as a teen. When you say teen, what age is she?
In your position I would now be thinking he is seeing other women because he’s clearly a liar. Even if he removes himself from SM he will find a way to hook up with another woman. And he will tell you it’s your fault. Please consider your options.

I’m so sorry

So she is 19 ! A grown woman, you made it sound like she was a child.

Most likely just harmless flirting, an ego massage maybe.

If you don't trust him then move on but this isn't a deal breaker surely.

I thought it was a child too at first. Odd he's now deleted it. Either because he doesn't want an argument or because he's hiding something?

I don’t get why she would just add him if she didn’t know him? Seems odd.

The fact that he’s lied to and then gaslit you about it shows it isn’t a random person he’s kindly friended for no reason.

It’s unlikely he’s done more than friend/follow any of them, to be fair.
It’s depressingly common for grown men to creep on the social media profiles of much younger women - their fantasies of these women falling madly in love with them, providing sex on tap and never expecting them to pull their weight as an equal partner rarely come to pass.

@ThePinkBush

I don’t get why she would just add him if she didn’t know him? Seems odd.

I'll be honest, I get people adding me that I don't even know too. Sometimes you post something someone likes and they start looking out for your future posts and continue to like your points because they think you have similar views, then decide to friend you. It can sometimes happen spontaneous like that. I'm usually wary who I accept because I'm a bit uncomfortable with random requests.

Facebook does make suggestions but I would never respond or accept a request from a young women I did not know.

Okay i also thought you meant a child....
Unless he talks to these woman I wouldn't bat an eyelid. Some people accept friend requests from anyone

It's gross.
Does she work at a coffee shop or something like that? Maybe that's where he met her.

@YeokensYegg

It's gross. Does she work at a coffee shop or something like that? Maybe that's where he met her.

Get. A. Grip.

He probably didn't know or consider if she's a teen or not, just an attractive young woman. I doubt she requested him though, that seems made up. He may have just started following/friending random other women just for the hell of it which isn't cool, esp if he has ever tried to message them of course.. But he may have done nothing with it, just browsed their pics for a bit of interest. I don't think the age difference is a big deal.

Its not that different from following someone on Instagram who you don't know..

He's probably deleted it because he's embarrassed probably not hiding some big affair.

Sounds like you need to work on your relationship though. Lack of sex and he says he doesn't feel you're interested in him, he'll be looking for an ego boost from somewhere, not that I'm condoning it.