Feeling trapped

[Trappedbymyownstupidity]

NC for this post.
I am feeling so depressed and trapped in my relationship and life. I always seem to take on a project when it comes to men.

I met my DP approx 2 years ago and fell pregnant within a month, contraception fail and a huge shock as I'm no spring chicken. I already had 2 DC and couldn't contemplate a termination, now I could not imagine life without 3rd DC.

My issue is DP, he moved in with me shortly before DC was born, he gets on great with the kids etc but he is a big manchild!

I found out that he is a disaster when it comes to finances. He hasn't paid his council tax in years, has 6 credit cards that he doesn't pay, doesn't have building insurance for his property and has zero savings or assets. His mortgage is on interest only and there is no equity.

I am the polar opposite, I have zero balance on my credit card, I have savings, large amount of equity in my property and top credit score.

I feel so anxious about his attitude to money and don't see any future due to this, and other issues in the relationship.

But I just don't know how I can cope with 3DCs on my own and a stressful career. I have no family support. I don't even know what I'm asking, any wise words? Anyone a single parent of 3 and if so how do you manage?

If I end things I never want another relationship, I have such poor judgement for someone who is deemed intelligent

Shameless bump, I'm desperate for advice

You managed with two
You'll manage with three

That's probably easier than three and a manchild-liability.
You know this. I'm sorry.

Sounds crap. But glad you happy about DC.

Yeah your probably right, it's just shit 😕

If you show MC the door you’ll only have the children to worry about.
The ongoing, and it will be never ending worry about yr partner and finances is enough to bring any relationship (with or without children) to its knees. You’ve got your hands full, no doubt there, but it will get easier as time passes. I’ve a feeling, one way or another he’ll bleed you dry, what you have now with him is what you’re going to get in the future, you haven’t time to be mothering another big kid. Good luck

Far better to care for just 3 children rather than 3C +MC. You won't know a minutes peace otherwise, the MC could bleed you dry. I know someone who was brought to her knees by one such MC, all of her savings went, she was constantly bailing him out. T

Things got worse as he started running up debts at her address once he had moved in, not only that he was totally useless around the house, couldn't/wouldn't pull his weight.

It took her a while before the light dawned and she kicked his sorry arse out. She's doing great now, it's hard slog at times but she says the best thing is being able to sleep at night and not worrying what might arrive in the post or who's knocking at the door (debt collector) or the bank phoning her.

@Trappedbymyownstupidity

You really need to get him out as soon as possible, because you're 'tied' financially to him as you live at the same address, and this will affect your own finances and credit score.

You sound like a very capable woman, and as a PP said, 'you managed with 2 kids, you'll manage with 3''.

And it will be easier than having to manage with 3 kids and a 'man child' too, because he will 'bleed you dry' as well as have you 'managing' his financial headaches too !