Don’t like how DH speaks to me sometimes.

[Hairbobblesbows]

There are lots of small instances of it but he often calls me his - as in ‘this is MY piece of ass.’
Last night he was saying to me - in bed - ‘you’re a tidy little piece. And whose tidy little piece are you? Mine. That’s what I want to hear. No one else gets this tidy little piece apart from me.’

I try and laugh it off and it could be that he is joking / half joking but I really don’t like it. I don’t like the whole belonging to him thing.

He sound awful.

Piece??
If you don't like it, tell him.

Ew that’s gross- nip that in the bud now and tell him straight you don’t like it, be very very clear - how he reacts will tell you a lot about him

Unless there is a lot more to it he sounds immature and misguided. Tell him you don't like it and it's not a compliment .

That sounds possessive. If he's trying to sound sexy then it's a huge fail. Eugh. Tell him straight that you don't like it.

That might be one of the biggest turn-off phrases I’ve ever heard, ugh.

Has he always done this? How long have you been together ?

Yeah it’s gross. He’s always done it to a greater or lesser degree.
He is possessive at times and the language he chooses to use feels like a reflection of that.
There are things I’ve asked him to stop saying before and he gets huffy about it. Maybe he thinks it’s seductive?!

There are things I’ve asked him to stop saying before and he gets huffy about it.

Keep consistent with it. Every time he says something weird: “I don’t like that and I’ve asked you to stop saying it. Please respect that.”

Huffing and sulking sounds a bit crap. Can you put up with this for the rest of your marriage?

Possessive, huffing when you express an opinion. This is what you need to worry about and decide if the rest of the relationship is worth it. It is demeaning and making you into an object, if he can't see that once it is pointed out you need to leave I think as it will wear you down.

If anyone ever said ‘piece of ass’ in any context I don’t think I could bear to look at them again.
Is he American?

There are things I’ve asked him to stop saying before and he gets huffy about it.

Let him huff away.

Call him out on it every time.

"I don't like being referred to as an object."

"I am a person."

"Please don't call me that."

Utterly demeaning and a bit creepy.

There are things I’ve asked him to stop saying before and he gets huffy about it. Maybe he thinks it’s seductive

It doesn't really matter what he thinks it is. What matters is that he's not respecting how you feel about it. Do you continue with proceedings, and have sex with him if he's spoken to you in this way? If so, why, if you find it a turn off?

Seductive? Revolting more like.

He's telling you that:

1. You are not a person in your own right (like he is), you are a mere possession.
2. Your value is attributed to certain body parts he likes to use. A "piece of ass"??? Not even a whole "ass"!
3. He doesn't think you should express opinions that conflict with his and if you do he will sulk and huff to train you to behave in a more approved way.

“No. I belong to ME. I have CHOSEN to be with you but that can change if I am insulted again”.

That would give me the ick and as others have said I would not feel loved, respected or valued. Blurgh. Have you been with him long? You say he’s been like this a while, he won’t change I don’t think given you already told him not to and he’s carrying on. This could be the tip of the iceberg in terms of how he treats you, and you only have to glance at threads on this board to see where it could lead to in terms of his behaviour and treatment of you.

“Tidy little piece”?! Is he an extra in The Sweeney?

I’m sorry OP but my vagina slammed shut so fast when I read your first post. 🤢 Most

Little piece? 🤮 he sees you as an object! Such a turn off. 🤮🤮🤮

That’s so gross.

As he's you H and not your P, I'm assuming he's always done this ?

It's really up to you whether you're happy to put up with being classed as his 'possession' His sexual possession, just to be clear. (Whos 'worth' to him is clearly being 'measured' on some weird 'attractiveness scale' in his mind)

As for him 'huffing' if you ask him not to say things like this, again, what are you prepared to do about it ?

Are you prepared to say ;

''Let me make this crystal clear for you, I do NOT 'belong' to you, I belong to NO-ONE. I am an independent, intelligent, articulate woman, NOT a 'piece of ass !

I don't think you saying those things is 'sweet' or 'endearing', in fact when you speak like that it is revolting and creepy, to say nothing of the insulting 'misogyny' ! It thoroughly turns me OFF !

Furthermore, I will not put up with you sulking and pouting like a 2 yr old child ! Do you really think it's OK to insult me, then SULK when I tell you you've hurt me ?
You either give me a bloody heartfelt apology for saying those gross things again, when I've asked you not to, and promise to never say them again, or you can bloody leave now!''

Have you ever been that clear with him ?

Eugh. So you are a commodity that only has worth as his play thing? Unpleasant.

You’ve married him?? So you’ve got this far and I don’t believe for a single second this is new behaviour.

I wouldn’t bother explaining to him, he sounds too thick to get it.

How long have you been together?

I quite like possessiveness from guys, but you aren't comfortable with it, so you need to be extremely clear to him about it, or leave! Clear - see above post by updown

Tidy piece of ass would be a turn off though.

Ugh. How gross. Time for an ultimatum.

Ew… I would want to roll up a newspaper and slap him on the nose every time until it stops.