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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being precious?

11 replies

User36389 · 20/07/2021 22:07

8 months in, have driven 1 hour 15 mins home from my partner’s place. I text at 6 to say I had set off and mentioned it had been a great few days. He was at work at the time, but message was read straight away. He’s been online intermittently all evening. No message to ask if I’m back ok?

After a 65 mile drive I would expect a one line message. Am I being precious? If not, would you raise it?

OP posts:
Prisonbreak · 20/07/2021 22:13

Wouldn’t bother me. That’s a pretty short drive.

Bluntness100 · 20/07/2021 22:15

Was he at work when he got it? He’s probably just forgot to respond or nothing needs saying. I’d not expect a text to check I got back ok though,

HalloHello · 20/07/2021 22:38

I would send a message saying home safe but wouldn't expect someone to send me one to check! I'm an adult ..

booboo24 · 21/07/2021 06:30

Could he also see you were online? If so I guess he knew you were OK. Do you wish each other goodnight?

I'd expect it to be fair but wouldn't mention it if I didn't got a check in as I'd know it was my preciousness rather than him doing anything wrong!!! My fiance is an 85 mile drive away, we both text when we are home, but he always checks if he doesn't hear from me within a couple of hours from set off, and vice versa

bert3400 · 21/07/2021 06:35

Yes you are being precious. 65 minutes is not long unless it's your first car journey after passing your test .

Potatofacey · 21/07/2021 06:45

Just drop him a message to say you are back safe and had a lovely time or whatever. If he’s a work he could be busy / distracted - don’t let this be the hill that you die on!

NotaCoolMum · 21/07/2021 06:49

I don’t think you’re being precious at all op. My DP always makes sure I got home ok etc. and I do the same.

JustAnotherOldMan · 21/07/2021 07:19

I would assume you got home okay unless you stated otherwise, but then I drive a lot, so 65 miles doesn’t seem like to me, as someone else said, if you were a new driver, or don’t drive much, then maybe it is.

However I would probably have responded to the message a 6, with some like a “glad you enjoyed the weekend, let me know when you get home “ and leave it with you to respond

layladomino · 21/07/2021 18:03

My drive to work used to be a 100 mile round trip, for many years. It wouldn't have occurred to me to have someone check I'd got there OK every day.

Especially as he's at work - he could be busy - it seems a bit much to expect.

If everything was good when you were together, I'd think he was just busy.

TheFoundations · 21/07/2021 18:35

Some people would be more precious. Some people would be less precious. There is no 'correct' level of preciousness, so there's no 'too precious'.

You're being yourself. You're pissed off he didn't check you were ok.

See it like it is, and find a way to deal with it, rather than labeling yourself.

RedBonnet · 22/07/2021 15:45

Personally I think it's rude not to acknowledge your text, even if it was just a kiss, takes less than a second to do. I would be reducing contact to see if he restarts the contact, to see whether he's serious about you

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