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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband has been paying for live porn

4 replies

Justpeachy123 · 20/07/2021 21:00

The other week I woke up to find my husband looking at porn when in bed next to me, I was shocked and mad and we haven't really spoke in over a week. He hasn't made any effort between then an now to make things right. I finally brought it up because I had that gut feeling there was more to it. It turns out he has been paying for live porn for at least 8 months and has spent hundreds of pounds. I'm devastated, I feel sick and feel he has betrayed me but also been cheating on... We have been not been as close over the past couple of years and I try talking to him to get things sorted and sometimes he listens and trys a little harder for a week or 2 then gives up. This last year he has gave me zero affection and isn't kind and puts me down but says he is only joking.... He has said he has been watching a lot of porn over the past few years but is now paying for live shows when he talks or messages them. I'm gutted, I don't know what to do. He says he is sorry but it's only because he was caught. If I never caught him I think he would still be spending our money on sex with other women... Is this forgivable? How can I trust him again. He was doing this downstairs when me and the kids were sleeping. I can't sleep because I think he is just waiting for me to sleep so he can get online. Has anyone ever been through similar? Can I get past it, is he just sorry cause he was caught... Help and advice please x

OP posts:
Mountaingoatling · 20/07/2021 21:11

But this is so beyond the bounds of acceptable that...it is not acceptable. So do not accept it. Save yourself the headfuckery of trying to understand, negotiate, trust and forgive and you'll heal faster.

Dnadoon · 20/07/2021 21:15

Start making plans to leave or he leaves. You deserve better. I'm sorry for you but you can't forgive that crap. Flowers

PieceOfString · 20/07/2021 21:17

Blimey. That's quite a line he's stepped over there. Don't think I could put would want to get past that. If he's been doing it that long then he doesn't have any conscience about it (in bed beside you Envy) and it's a strong habit... That's not going to change overnight. Sorry to hear this is happened to you. Sad

ThePearlEagle · 13/09/2024 13:09

Justpeachy123 · 20/07/2021 21:00

The other week I woke up to find my husband looking at porn when in bed next to me, I was shocked and mad and we haven't really spoke in over a week. He hasn't made any effort between then an now to make things right. I finally brought it up because I had that gut feeling there was more to it. It turns out he has been paying for live porn for at least 8 months and has spent hundreds of pounds. I'm devastated, I feel sick and feel he has betrayed me but also been cheating on... We have been not been as close over the past couple of years and I try talking to him to get things sorted and sometimes he listens and trys a little harder for a week or 2 then gives up. This last year he has gave me zero affection and isn't kind and puts me down but says he is only joking.... He has said he has been watching a lot of porn over the past few years but is now paying for live shows when he talks or messages them. I'm gutted, I don't know what to do. He says he is sorry but it's only because he was caught. If I never caught him I think he would still be spending our money on sex with other women... Is this forgivable? How can I trust him again. He was doing this downstairs when me and the kids were sleeping. I can't sleep because I think he is just waiting for me to sleep so he can get online. Has anyone ever been through similar? Can I get past it, is he just sorry cause he was caught... Help and advice please x

I found out my partner has been paying for live porn for 10 months I am desperately trying to make things work and he doesn't want to lose me I have told him I will be checking everything of his from now on I told him I don't trust him and if we stay together he has to live with all this checking his things. I am lost right now and I have told him that I will tell everyone including his mom and sister as I have evidence. He has been doing this while I was in hospital and my job came to an end. I told him that if I find out that he has been carrying on I will leave him for good .
Any advice I am so lost right now and can't tell anyone .

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