The other week I woke up to find my husband looking at porn when in bed next to me, I was shocked and mad and we haven't really spoke in over a week. He hasn't made any effort between then an now to make things right. I finally brought it up because I had that gut feeling there was more to it. It turns out he has been paying for live porn for at least 8 months and has spent hundreds of pounds. I'm devastated, I feel sick and feel he has betrayed me but also been cheating on... We have been not been as close over the past couple of years and I try talking to him to get things sorted and sometimes he listens and trys a little harder for a week or 2 then gives up. This last year he has gave me zero affection and isn't kind and puts me down but says he is only joking.... He has said he has been watching a lot of porn over the past few years but is now paying for live shows when he talks or messages them. I'm gutted, I don't know what to do. He says he is sorry but it's only because he was caught. If I never caught him I think he would still be spending our money on sex with other women... Is this forgivable? How can I trust him again. He was doing this downstairs when me and the kids were sleeping. I can't sleep because I think he is just waiting for me to sleep so he can get online. Has anyone ever been through similar? Can I get past it, is he just sorry cause he was caught... Help and advice please x