Hi
I’m after some thoughts. I’ve been with my wife for 8yrs. I’m 33 she 44. She has 3 kids from a previous marriage (21,18,17) and one of our own (5) we’ve never argued really in 8yrs and get on like a house on fire. We’ve always been very strong and like minded. The only slight problem is the fact she has PTSD due to domestic violence in her last marriage. This last 2yrs has been hell! I was forced to leave work march last year due to covid and didnt get any furlough until December! Nearly a year just on sick pay £400pm. My outgoings were around 3000pm. Stressful to say the least. On top of this my landlady decided she wanted to sell her house in the middle of the first lock down. I said I couldn’t move with no finances, she said she didn’t care and almost put my whole family on the streets. I moved with 6 days left before I was kicked out. Also my 21 step son developed psychosis the exact same time and was admitted to a mental health hospital for months on end hearing voices etc. I also have two autistics which is hard as it is as well. All very very stressful! This all had a massive effect me. I felt like I’d been hit by a truck and couldn’t move or think. This had a massive effect on my wife who then had to carry us all on her own. She said I looked disinterested and felt like I didn’t love her. Unfortunately she felt so low she couldnt cope and left me. She thought I was just being there for the kids sake and I didn’t want to be there. It deeply hurt her and broke me! I ended up having to see the Dr who was running tests to see if I had cancer it was that bad. More stress. Turns out it was mental health and I had gone through a complete mental breakdown. I didn’t even know my left and right at that point. I explained it to my now ex wife who fully understood, but said I had hurt her to much to ever get bk together and just don’t love me anymore. After 2 months on antidepressants I was like my old self again. My wife couldn’t believe it. She said u haven’t been like this for 2yrs! She said she loves me, misses me and only ever wants me. It feels right she said. Here’s the problem, she is now under huge stress because I’m not there. 2 days later she said she couldn’t cope and didn’t want a relationship again. Another 2 months have now passed. When she’s happy she like her old self, quite flirtatious etc. When she’s stressed I’m the biggest in the world and she don’t want to know me. Only as friends. She’s now said it’s been 4 months and she gona start dating again! This frightens me alot! She obviously still has feelings or she wouldn’t flirt etc when happy? But she adamant she’s doesn’t want me bk? How can she say I’m her everything and only wants me, leave 2 days later, continue to flirt when happy and take my head off when stressed, then around a month later move on? I cant get my head around it? I swear this is stress isn’t it? I constantly help her out when I can and it seems to help. I’ve told her take one day at a time, one problem at time and no big decisions when stressed. Like my Dr told me. But she won’t have it. I feel she’s about to make a huge mistake where not thinking properly. I have no idea if I even can do anything. Does this sound like stress to u? What can I even do?