More porn than sex :(

[Auroramx]

My partner of 4 years seems to prefer to watch porn than to have sex with me and it’s really getting me down. He watches porn several times a week but we only have sex twice a month. I have tried to initiate before but have been turned down so I get scared to now. Or I’ll have a bath and smell nice and shave and put on a nice night dress or something but he doesn’t seem bothered at all.

When we do have sex I don’t like it anymore :( seems like he enjoys foreplay more and it lasts a while then when we actually have sex there’s too many different positions that don’t feel good or are hard to get into and sometimes he pressures me to “squirt” which makes me think he’s bored of just normal sex with me and has his expectations too high.

Anyone gone through something similar?

Preferring porn to sex with you is a huge red flag. You should not consider going into an LTR if you are not sexually compatible with your DP, that is another red flag. This relationship is not going anywhere and it's time to move on.

I've come across men who seem to like the squirting thing, its definitely porn related. What they don't realise is that real life women can't simulate the fake things the porn actresses do, nor should we have to! Online porn is one of the worst things to happen in modern relationships IMO.

There's something v sad and dysfunctional about a man putting porn ahead of sex with his partner to the extent he turns down your advances.

At the v least he should be prepared to cut down/seek professional help to help your sex life - worth giving an ultimatum on, as otherwise this will get worse.

Sounds like a porn addict. Can only get it up for a screen and his left hand.. yuk !
I would be out of there. it is a modern day scourge and it completely warps their brain

End it now because this is going to get far worse. Your partner is addicted to porn. Gross.

Urgh.
Sounds grim.
Get rid and leave him to his porn. The best sexual partner I had would never masturbate for a few days if we were due to meet up as he'd always say he'd rather be with me than DIY.

My DH was as you describe, same for me, sex was terrible. Marriage ended in me finding out about the escort he booked on a business trip via his messages of what he wanted to do with her and she giving him the price (of course he "turned around at the door and never went through with it"). Next man I saw wasn't into porn and it was the best sex of my life. Great sex doesn't come from a set of positions, but the emotional connection, love and lust. That's how you get really high.

He’s porn sick. Sorry OP. Have you spoken to him about it?

Oh this is gross and abhorrent. So sorry @Auroramx

Unfortunately a growing number of men out there don't have a clue, and neither do they care, how to please their partners.

This guy sounds like a catch. As hard as it will seem, I'd break up and move on.