Unrequited love, limerence, or just plain bat shit crazy

[DawnFawn]

Hi,

I originally posted this on a zombie thread around the same topic, hoping for a reply from an OP telling me that she had been through the same and got through it. But honestly, I just need some help.
I met someone at work, We dated for 6 months, and then he told me he didn’t want any thing committed. He’s single, a bit socially awkward and I genuinely didn’t think anyone else was in the picture so I just figured he was still having issues from his divorce (4 years ago)
So we have this amazing, fun and flirty friendship with me hoping in the back ground that he would come around but he never did. We have lunch every day together, he comes and hangs out in my office for coffee, he calls me on the way home etc.
We go in cycles, everything is perfect and it feels like we are getting somewhere then will suddenly go cold, prompting me to go into a bit of a tizz. I will then tell him that I need to back off and not be so friendly with him anymore.
He then turns up the charm, says he misses my company, and then I relent and we are back to square one. The cycle begins again. It’s been 2 years now.

Only now, I think he’s met someone. His behaviour has changed, he is exactly the same at work but he will not reply to messages in the evenings, or weekends when he hasn’t got his children. And he is online on WhatsApp for hours, just not reading my messages. Then as he was showing me something on his phone, he got a WhatsApp from a (girls name) and my stomach just sank.
Last week I blocked him on all platforms, and explained again that we couldn’t be friends. We had a work related conversation Saturday morning, but then I went back to radio silence.
Today I arrived into work to a note on my desk “good morning cupcake”

I think he likes knowing I have feelings for him and I am definitely an ego boost. I need to get my dignity and walk away. But it’s killing me inside….

Thanks for the kick up the arse people, I’m still feeling pretty sad and vulnerable.

Last week was pretty horrendous, but I think the fact that I was spinning around and walking in the other direction when I saw him at work has clarified my point that I can’t hack him anymore

It’s a horrible feeling and something many of us have been through before.

You won’t feel like this forever though and one day you will look back and wonder what you ever saw in him.

It’s tough but keep going!

Been there, done that. So much so, I should be the limerence guru. Or something.

You need to get the ick for him. Develop and nurture the ick so the ick becomes the ICK. Like IIIIICK.

See him as a total saddo, a pathetic loser who is so insecure and pitiable that he needs the attention and validation of TWO women. How incomplete, sad and unsatisfied with life must he be?!

Hone in on his faults and magnify them. His laugh? An annoying guffaw. His smile? A fixed rictus. His personality? What personality?

Imagine him pathetically craving women's attention and plotting endlessly how to get it.

You're well shot of him, you're the winner here, he's a loser and his punishment is being his sad pathetic self forevermore.

Every time you think of him, say Yuck out loud to yourself. YUCK. Urgh. YUCK.

You WILL get over him. You can do this. Totally.