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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Moving on after abuse

6 replies

Pissh · 19/07/2021 20:36

So I left a domestically abusive relationship a few months ago, and would one day like to date again.

So I wanted to know from fellow mumsnetters, what was it like if/when you entered a new relationship after an abusive one? How did you meet? What were the green or red flags?

I guess I just want to understand it all a bit better

OP posts:
turtletaub · 19/07/2021 20:47

First of all - well done and congratulations!! You've done the hardest thing, and in my experience the enormity of it takes a while to sink in!
I'm still learning more all the time, and still working out what is 'normal' in a relationship.
I definitely entered a relationship before I was really ready - BUT - a few years later it's better than ever and going strong. It just took a lot of work and patience and perseverance on both our behalves because we didn't want to wait.
I did all the things people recommend, freedom program etc. It all helps.
I'm sure it will take a long time to work it all through, but a couple of years on it all seems somehow so unreal, like it happened to someone else. And I'm so very happy now, and I'm sure you will be too! It's like reclaiming your life, or waking up from a nightmare and it can take a while to get straight!

Pissh · 19/07/2021 21:11

@turtletaub thank you for your awesome post :) , I'm so glad to hear that you've found happiness. Ironically, I didn't understand that I had been in a domestically abusive relationship until after I had left, since I didn't understand that domestic abuse can just be emotional and sexual violence as opposed to always involving battered women. I left because I found out that he had behaved in ways that were harmful to others, and nothing he could say could ever make that alright with me. It was definitely very painful after we first separated, but easier because I could never bring myself to go back to him knowing what he did.

I'll definitely look into the Freedom Programme, I want to do all that I can to put this behind me, to move forward and never end up in a relationship like that again.

If it's okay for me to ask, how did you and your partner meet? How did you know that you were good for each other? Are there any other things that you would recommend?

OP posts:
turtletaub · 19/07/2021 21:42

I definitely recommend the freedom program from the sounds of what you have been through. If you can't get on a course anytime soon, I'm sure if you have a google about you can find the book that goes with the course - it's worth a read on its own.
I had been friends with my partner for years so I knew him well. I think that played a massive part in helping him understand where my behaviours came from in the early days. When I would freak out about things that were triggers, and still do on the rare occasion - I think it really helped that he knew where it came from. That has 100% been the key to our relationship - I've been really honest with him about the level of damage my ex husband did to my mental health, so much so that it distorts my reality sometimes. And I know he's the right one because he gets it, he's my best friend, and when I freak out, when I'm unreasonable, he holds me and tells me he's there. Sounds corny. my ex, when I was vulnerable - he would prey on that. My new partner, that's when he drops everything and builds me up. He wants to build me up, not tear me down - that's the difference, he wants me to feel strong.
I know I've been massively lucky, because if i had been dating someone I didn't already know, then I don't know how long it would take to get to a place where I could be that honest about what I had been through and that's been the key. Sorry if that doesn't help - but it does show that it's possible to turn everything around, just might take a little longer if meeting someone new.
If I were, things I would personally avoid would be indicators of jealousy, control, passive aggressive comments about family or friends, a wondering eye, the list goes on. The signs were all there with my ex - I just didn't see them as I just didn't know that kind of evil existed

turtletaub · 19/07/2021 21:47

Also - the freedom program is GREaT for exactly what you are asking about. Talks about different types of abuse and abusers - but also different types of GREaT relationships/partners and how to recognise them

turtletaub · 19/07/2021 21:48

It's all in the book. You'll recognise your abuser as one of the types, or a mixture of traits straight away if you're anything like me!

AmberIsACertainty · 19/07/2021 22:14

Stuff I avoid in people is firstly selfishness. There's a difference between putting yourself first and being selfish. It's important to understand it. Then you can spot selfishness and depending on how bad and if it's the first time or not you either stamp on it, draw your line in the sand that it's unacceptable or you walk away from the selfish person permanently.

Then being compatible, neither of you should be trying to change the other, or have a long list of things you'd like to change in them but you're putting up with. Someone whose company I genuinely enjoy. If I stop enjoying their company when they're no longer on their best behaviour then it's time to move on, because this is the real them and I don't like it.

Also watched for the signs of victim behaviour in myself. If I'm behaving like I'm being abused, I'm not doing that for no reason! So things like feeling I have to justify myself for wanting whatever perfectly reasonable thing it is that I want, is a red flag that something is off with the relationship.

Looking for the opposite, someone who doesn't put pressure on, who considers my wants and seeks out my opinions, who puts me first sometimes or when it's necessary instead of it always being about what they want. Someone who will make me a cuppa if I'm ill and check if I'm ok because they care. Not someone who'll say ok then see you when you're feeling better, and only check on me because they want to know if I'm up for going out yet. The ability to say No without any argument, bad feeling or justifying things. Saying No thanks its not convenient, shouldn't be hard work or cause me anxiety.

I decided to stay single and deliberately not be open to a relationship of any kind except friends for a while after leaving, because I knew I needed to recover and someone who wanted me when I was broken could either have issues themselves or be looking for an easy target.

I made an effort to curb people pleaser tendencies and live my life for myself, if others wanted to share it temporarily or potentially permanently that was fine but I didn't chase or wait and I took no shit. I wanted life to feel ordinary and trundling along fine not filled with drama, misunderstanding and argument. So if people bring me that I disengage.

I wanted to be myself, compromising on who you are causes stress, so now I'm take it or leave it. We're all different, we're not all going to like each other and if someone thinks I'm not for them, that's fine. If I'm sad about that, it won't last forever and it frees up space to find someone truly compatible. I believe compromise should only ever be for minor things like which pub to go to or what colour carpet to have in your shared home. The major stuff either works or it doesn't and trying to compromise causes problems and resentment.

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