My sister (who is 2 years older than me) and I have always had an on/off type relationship. Sometimes we'd get on sometimes not. She's never liked my husband and never treated him very well. We had a huge falling out when he and I first moved in together (we moved to a different city) because I asked that we get a 'honeymoon' period (like a month) before we had guests to stay. she didn't think that included her and got all upset because i asked her not to come stay.
We sort of patched things up (though she always thought DH was the one who didn't want her to stay when it was very much me)
I got married a couple years before her. Because the younger sister was getting married before the older one my family made a HUGE deal about her on my wedding day so she didn't 'feel bad'
although i tried to have a bit of a relationship with her she didn't reciprocate so i left it.
anyway, she got engaged. in passing i told her that i didn't like weddings (which, i admit wasn't the smartest thing.) she got all pissed off and stopped talking to me. (this was AFTER we had booked our flights back to canada to go to her stupid wedding.)
Finally I called her to have it out. she brought up all the old shit to do with my DH and not lettin gher stay and WHATEVER.
so we patched things up (she did admit though that she blames DH for her and I not having a good relationship and she said she hates him) [sorry i have to stop myself here: WHY THE FUCK DID I LET HER AWAY WITH THAT??!!]
anyway!
once she was married we were on equal footing again so she decided we should be friends. so we would email each other etc. then i foudn out i was pregnant [back note here: she's always wanted kids but has been having trouble conceiving, i didn't want any until shortly before i got pregnant]
after i told her she stopped replying to my emails. nice.
when my DS was born she phoned me and DIDN'T EVEN ASK ABOUT THE BABY. didn't even mention his name. talked about random shit. (asked me what was wrong. when i told her i had the baby blues she said 'oh')
so i didn't ask her to be godmother to my son. I asked my cousin who i have ALWAYS been close with. (who called and made a fuss over me and asked a million questions about DS)
if you've made it this far good on you. this is long. but it ain't over yet....
SO!!
last year we made the trip back to canada to introduce DS to his extended family.
My sister was at the airport with the rest of the clan. she IGNORED ds and barely said hello to me and DH.
everytime we saw her during that trip she blanked us.
then during one visit she smooshed her dirty socks in my baby's face.
she belched and blew it into his face.
[i still haven't forgiven myself for not punching her right then]
she came over one night and me and my DH lef the room and wen to bed. i just couldn't stand being in the same room as her.
my mom made a huge fuss about us being rude blah blah blah. she went on about how we had treated my sister poorly that it had killed ehr that i hadn't asked her to be godmother blah blah blah.
when i told her about sis not asking about Ds she said 'but she can't have a baby!' (liek that was an excuse for being a bitch)
after that hell of a trip (where i nearly had a breakdown because i had PND and hadn't been treated for it yet) i got a letter from HER.
she told me that she's infertile.
she told me that although she's not proud of how she scted she couldn't put aside her own feelings.
here's my favourite bit: "i also wanted to acknowledge that i know my actions have hurt you and probably as a result, your reactions to my actions have hurt me. I hope we're even now and we can move forward."
(please note that not ONCE did she actually say she was sorry)
right, final chapter:
a couple days ago she told she that she's pregnant.
I'm happy for her. I really am. she's always wanted this.
but at the same time i feel like i really really really deserve an apology.
she treated me, my DH and, worst of all, my son like shit.
but nothing will be said.
if this whole saga has taught me anyting it;s that i'm a bad person (well, that's what my family make me believe)
and i;m gong to be a bad person again because i can't forgive her. and i won't forget.
so go one MN. tell me i'm a bad person. i can take it.