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Original poster

Disagreement over moving

7 replies

IncorrigibleTitmouse · 17/07/2021 21:06

I currently live abroad in my DH's home country. I really want to move home, primarily due to some pressing family issues/changes.

We have a dog, who we can't bring with us because he's a banned breed in the UK (despite being a harmless sweetie, but rules are rules). My DH point blank will not rehome him, even with someone we know, which I do understand.

I love him to bits. He is an old fellow (the dog, not DH!) so DH says we just need to wait till we no longer have him, then we can move. Is it completely terrible of me to suggest I leave earlier and move by myself?

I'm needed in both countries, it's causing me so much stress it's making me ill.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 17/07/2021 21:10

If you think your relationship would survive long distance, and you genuinely feel like this is the best option for everyone involved, you're not unreasonable to move alone and let DH follow on whenever.

ifoundthebread · 17/07/2021 21:16

How old is old? Is the dog likely to see another year out or is it possible he will hang on another 5. If it's a matter of months then I'd wait but any more than that I would move ahead alone if it is important enough to leave dp behind.

Original poster
IncorrigibleTitmouse · 17/07/2021 21:23

He's almost 13. His breed's life expectancy is generally 8-12 but we take excellent care of him so he's very healthy. It's impossible to know how long, I think that's what's exacerbating the stress. I'm just one of those people that needs a definite plan.

I need to be closer to be able to support other family members, I'm a very long way away and haven't even been able to visit due to Covid.

OP posts:
Original poster
IncorrigibleTitmouse · 17/07/2021 21:24

DH said he will happily move, our dog is his only non negotiable on timing.

OP posts:
Confusedlover1999 · 17/07/2021 23:21

I wouldn't be able to put a dog above the needs of my family, sorry. I guess it depends on the family situation to some extent.

Whiskycav · 17/07/2021 23:28

I don't think I could leave an old dog to rehomed.

But, if the issues at home are really pressing I would do what I could to support you going back for now.

Ohanaa · 17/07/2021 23:34

I think he’s right to stay until the dog passes but yanbu to move early if you really are needed at home.

Do you think your relationship will survive long distance ?

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